Monday, May 06, 2013
I ran my 5K Saturday.
It was terrible.
It took me 54 minutes and 9 seconds. Last summer I was running them in the high 39/low 40 minutes.
In my defense, I haven't trained or worked out at all since December. Not even a little bit. I haven't eaten well. I haven't picked up a weight. I've watched a lot of TV though. And I had some EXCELLENT fast food.
I weigh more than I ever have. I stopped caring. I lived for the moment instead of for my life. There were days when I had fast food three or four times. There were days when the most exercise I got was sneezing.
I'm not going to regret it though.
You might find that odd. I mean, I knew how to eat right. I knew which exercises to do. I paid for my monthly gym membership that wasn't being used. So why don't I feel guilty??
Guilt will get me nowhere. It won't change the past. It won't change what I've eaten over the past 5 months. It won't take the 30 pounds I've gained away.
All it will do is make me feel depressed and sad.
I refuse to do that.
So, I'm taking it for what it is. Today I will do better. Tomorrow will be better than today. Slowly I'll get back to where I was and I'll do it in a way that isn't a punishment for my 5 months off track.
Because whether I weight 230 pounds of 120 pounds, I'm still a RockStar. I'm still a good person and I still deserve to be liked. So do all of you!
I'm meeting with Yoda today. I'm pretty much guaranteed the hardest workout of my life. I know that he will push me harder than he did before because he knows I need it. Plus, I'm nowhere near where I was at before. I doubt I could run for a full minute right now.
But I'm going to try my hardest.
This isn't a diet - it's my life.