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Can it be true?

Monday, May 06, 2013

When a friend is having a tough time I say encouraging things to them. I believe the things that I am saying. I know that encouragement can help get us through the tough times and the power of talking things through and being reasonable.

Somehow when it comes to my own struggles I don't trust it to be so. I mess up and I really get this defeatist thinking in my head. I haven't completed this journey so I will never complete it. I ate junk so I will always eat junk. I struggle and I will not let go and just get on with it.

I have been using my mantra "I am competent. I am beautiful." and it helps but there still is that negative voice. I question if I start on the road to a better me will I be able to stay on that road? I figures out that if I leave the road I will be able to get back on.

Somehow I still doubt that...I will never be the thinner healthier person I want to be. I have moments of asking myself to just try. Just do it for a bit and see what happens. Just see try...just a little bit. So you messed up. It is not an all or nothing world I tell myself. I can do it. I can do it again and again if I need to. The thought makes me tired. I worry that I have been this way and I will continue. I apparently don't accept that I myself, Pam, can change.

I am changing and I will continue to change whether it feels like I am steering or not. I am working to accept that it is possible.

I could eat better. I could get organized. I could be strong and thin. I could be happy with who I am. I have managed, except for a brief period around 13, to raise self assured kids. I need to give that same gift to myself.

My ending positive thoughts:
If I keep on the road to good health confirming continually that I want to be on this path to good health I will get there. It is possible for me to be a healthy weight, and feel good about myself. I am competent even if my weight does not change one bit.

It is not good to imagine others thinking poorly of me. Wait until they do. I might not know what they are thinking.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTYNA7 5/17/2013 6:16PM

    That voice inside of us is not always negative... but it is often silent, not speaking up when it should. It takes a lot of practice and encouragement to allow it to be heard, and when it IS negative, to be loud enough to be able to challenge it. I think it is the whisper in the background that unsettles us. This is a good blog. I hope to bounce off this thought... think about it while I'm doing my gardening.

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GOODGETNBETR 5/8/2013 12:15PM

    It's all about the journey and where we're headed. As long as you stay on the path you will reach your destination and be the stronger and happier for it.

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NANCY- 5/8/2013 7:53AM

    What others think is irrelevant. (including me emoticon )

I love your mantra "I am competent. I am beautiful." But I do have a question for you why are so so hard on yourself? Day to day it is difficult to notice changes. But think back to a month ago, a year ago.... you have made changes. Changes show up in different ways and do not always show on the scale...
Is healthier food in the house and on the menu?
Do you have regular exercise that you do?
Do you take time for yourself to read a book, say a prayer, observe nature?

I know that I want immediate changes and have been really hard on myself, but I am learning that practice, patience and perseverance will get me there. A musician does not become accomplished in a day. An athlete trains for their performance.

As moms we get accustomed to putting out fires and winging it. Be kind to yourself, you are moving forward and making positive changes. I see the changes in you.
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ON-FIRE1 5/7/2013 1:54PM

    Hang in there. Sometimes it takes a bit to convince ourselves of the positive because we've been listening to the negative so long. It's hard to let go of the negative. I got out a verbally abusive marriage in August and I still am second guessing myself. I still have to think if what he said about me was true. Am I really that bad of a person? The answer is absolutely not! I am strong and courageous! I made the right decision to get out of the abuse and strengthen myself inside and out. Is it hard? Absolutely! Will it be worth it? You betcha! I still am staying strong! It's a fight to the finish! That's what's going to make life so rewarding, looking back at your strength and determination to finish this journey! Don't get discouraged and ignore those negative voices in your head. Trust me, it's not easy to ignore them. Look at yourself in the mirror, point at yourself, look yourself in the eyes, and tell yourself you are a worth it and you are a beautiful person and you can do this. Remind yourself why you started this journey. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. emoticon

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FITFRIT 5/6/2013 11:59PM

    Keeping positive for ourselves seems to be the hardest journey I think, it sucks. If you are feeling down, hollar, I know I don't know you well, but I'd be happy to tell you a terrible tacky joke to get your mind off things. I'm crazy that way!

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KPACE7 5/6/2013 8:48PM

    Positive self talk is so valuable. When you start to get down on your efforts, regroup because you ARE wonderland and you ARE beautiful. You can do this.

Karen

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TEDYBEAR2838 5/6/2013 5:19PM

    Sometimes you just have to retrain your thinking.
Rehearse for a bit, and it will eventually sink in.



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JIBBIE49 5/6/2013 2:59PM

    emoticon

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STRONGERLEANER 5/6/2013 2:19PM

    I am the same way. I find myself encouraging others, cheering for others, but doubting myself.

I'm not sure what it takes to turn around the way we talk to ourselves and look at ourselves but I'm working hard to treat myself better. I have started imagining what I would say to someone else if they were in the same situation and trying to internalize those positive attitudes.

Wishing you much success! I'm definitely fighting the same battle.

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