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Frustrated (is an understatement)


Monday, May 06, 2013

Things have changed in my life since I last blogged. A lot. I lost the battle with emotional binge eating for quite a while. However, I was able to regain control probably about 2 months ago. About a month ago, I decided I was bored with my Zumba DVDs and ventured out to a Zumba class that is held at the local skating rink. Needless to say, I was immediately hooked and addicted. I've been going twice a week, and walking approximately 5 miles a week (over 3 days). I've been doing really well at sticking within my calorie range. I've relost (I gained almost all my weight back) about 10-15 lbs within the past 2 months. My fiance was diagnosed with diabetes about 2 years ago. He changed (somewhat) his eating habits and lost a bunch of weight. In those two years alone he lost approx 150 lbs. However, as someone who has dieted and made lifestyle changes on and off all of my life, I knew (and said multiple times to his doctor) that he was not eating well enough to lose that much weight. Sure enough, he was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid about 6 months ago. That's what helped him lose all the weight. Well good for him. Bad for me. Yeah, yoohoo, let's not forget that the couple that used to 400 lbs (him) and 250 lbs (me) is now 255 lbs (him) and 240 lbs (me). It's freaking me out and pissing me off at the same time. Women are not supposed to be bigger than their significant others....at least not in my mind. So the frustration sets in this past weekend. I was going down to my parents, so I moved my zumba class from Saturday to the Tuesday prior so I still got my two classes in this past week. I was pleasantly surprised when I found a class at a gym by them where you can pay for the class without being a member. So I went to a third class Saturday morning. I spent all day yesterday outside fishing, walking in the woods from spot to spot. Definitly not a cardio workout, but I was being active on my "off" day so I was happy. I ate poorly on Saturday, but I figured the extra workout would even it out. Surprise! Surprise! I got on the scale this morning and GAINED a pound. So I went through EVERYTHING I ate on Saturday. I pulled up the calorie differential report. And guess what...according to the report I still BURNED 600 calories more than I ate. I ate within my range all week. I'm so frustrated by this that I'd seriously like to print the report, take it to my doctor, cram it down her throat, and demand that she figure out exactly what is wrong with me.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SMYLEERED 5/9/2013 7:14PM

    It's good that you recognize some of the issues you have regarding food and weight. It's a lifelong thing so try not to be too upset with the progress. It can be very very slow. I am a compulsive overeater and truthfully even belonging to a 12 step fellowship I find that the urge gets less but never goes away. Have patience with yourself and as someone said already, don't let weight upset you. Eat healthy, use the scale once a month unless your doctor advises otherwise. Huggssss!

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OOLALA53 5/7/2013 9:48AM

    It's okay to feel frustrated. Just don't let that become a reason to give up eating reasonably.

Not that it will help, very likely, but there are countries in the world in which men like their women fatter than they are, and some of those men are pretty big, I know; we don't live there, but sometimes it's good to remind ourselves that it is a beaten-in cultural preference, not some God-given truth. (Is your boyfriend complaining? Do you love him and respect his judgement? Are we here to decorate the world of men we don't even know... ? Your real value is so much bigger and more important that your appearance. Another way to think about it. I'm sure you know it, but at times like these, it's hard to remember.)

I doubt anything is wrong with your body though there might be. If you really think there is, keep scrupulous records and do show them to your doctor.


Alternately, try not to judge by the daily scale but by the trend. The body doesn't immediately adjust to the day's food and exercise. I actually hardly weigh myself anymore but have been sick and eating little. I happened to weigh 2 days in a row, and had gained 1.5 lbs. the second day even though I had eaten less than 1000 calories the previous day and even less the day before. Am I going to eat even less today to try to budge that number? NO. I will eat small, reasonable meals because I still feel a little queasy. When I feel better, I'll eat my regular, moderate meals. Now and forever. The amount of food that I need has decreased doing that over 40 months and I have lost 20% of my weight (without regular exercise- not ideal but possible. and I'm still working on regular exercise(. That is more than is needed by most people to greatly reduce their health risks. But I refused to be in a hurry. Most people in a hurry are fatter two years after they start a diet. I have beat those odds considerably, but I had to keep going. And I will never go back to trying to eat for the scale. I eat for vitality.

When I did weigh myself daily, I totaled the amount every 7 days and divided by 7 to get the average. That was the only weight I recorded. It's more accurate than weighing once a week or even judging day by day. Now I record my weight at the turn of the seasons only.

Keep working towards the way you would be willing to eat forever as a vital lifestyle, not as a way to weigh something. Be honest about eating moderate portions of dense foods and keep working in greater amounts of the less dense ones that you enjoy. Try to have a general plan for the ratios of those foods you eat at meals and avoid random decisions to eat extra food of any kind. (Extra food just keeps the extra food habit going.) If you are really eating moderate meals, you really never need the extra food your body keeps trying to get you to eat. Keep noticing that you actually feel more vital with moderate amounts of food and it's worth it to wait for your proper meals. This doesn't mean every moment will be joyous. There will be many moments of feeling those irritating, uncomfortable desires to eat to much. Don't fall into the trap of making them bigger than they are or meaning more than they do. No one is cutting off your leg or pounding your thumb with a hammer. You're just feeling an urge to eat. If you have eaten a good mea and will again in a few hours, it's not even real hungry. You are just learning to adjust and it actually takes 2-5 years to get really good at and comfortable with changing eating behaviors. You are probably right on track. The time will pass anyway. You might as well keep learning and adjusting.

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GAILRUU 5/7/2013 8:43AM

    Frustrating! Men can lose a lot faster than women because they have so much more muscle. We just have to work harder at it.

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CECE0330 5/6/2013 1:29PM

    emoticon

I've so been there. I used to get so frustrated and would want to scream: BUT THE MATH DOESN'T ADD UP!!!!! This is SCIENCE, this is NUMBERS! More calories burned than consumed SHOULD = LOSS!!!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

There are many things to consider that I've noticed for myself over the years:
~ Eating different foods can easily mean eating different sodium levels, which will make you retain the water you drink
~ Not drinking as much water as your body is used to can cause a little faux "gain"
~ Whatever time of the month it is. Grr.
~ OK, TMI here, but I know I will ALWAYS weigh more on a Monday regardless of if I even ran a freaking half marathon over the weekend or did 5 zumba classes (I teach) because of um....bathroom issues. emoticon Busy weekends = disrupted "schedule" Sorry, totally TMI there.
~ This one really sucks for me, and I fought it for a LONG time (still do sometimes) but my body hates grains. Despises them. If i eat the "right" amount of calories and workout, I will NOT LOSE if I am eating grains. Period. My body holds on to every single little bit; I get bloated, upset stomach, just gross.
~ Same with alcohol. I drink even just ONE drink, and i know the scale will be up a lb or two for a couple days.

I have been deterred by these factors so many times. It messes with your brain. What I do NOW to reign things in and stay positive is eat as clean as humanly possible: lean meats, fruits, veggies, couple eggs, greek yogurt, and drink TONS of water. Do this for a couple days and see how your body responds.

And I get the relationship weight thing too. When I was pregnant, my weight surpassed my husbands, and even post-baby I was just 10? 15? lbs less than him. Yeah, um, he's 6'4" and BUILT and I'm 5'4". Not cool. Every lb I lost felt twice as good knowing that I was moving farther away from him on the scale.

Comment edited on: 5/6/2013 1:29:33 PM

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