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    KCRACHAEL1   6,036
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I backslid. A lot.


Monday, May 06, 2013

I'm having a really hard time with motivation right now. I was doing great for the past 3 weeks--I had lost 1.5 inches off my waist, ran faster, lifted more weight.

But my rate of improvement slowed down, and I started getting bored and discouraged and tired of limiting my food intake. I really messed up with my diet Thursday-Sunday, and now that it's Monday morning, I'm finding myself unmotivated to get back on track.

Every week, I allow myself one "free day" where I can eat what I crave and not count calories. This has worked for me in the past and it makes me feel much less deprived because it's something I can look forward to. My free day this weekend was Saturday, so I have an excuse for that day, but here are the bad things I ate Thursday, Friday, and Sunday:

Thursday:
-4 glasses of wine at an alumni event (I had budgeted calories for 2, so only 2 of these were "bad")
-A piece of pizza once I got home from said alumni event
-Total screw-up value: 450 calories

Friday:
-3 Milano cookies
-A handful of Raisinets
-An extra beer
Total screw-up value: 450 calories

Sunday:
-2 handfuls of Chex mix
-1 serving Mint Chip dairy-free ice cream
-2 ounces Amaretto
-1 handful Jelly Bellys
-1 ounce pistachios
Total screw-up value: 840 calories
The worst part about this one on Sunday was, I felt so ashamed of myself that I deliberately hid some of those screw-up calories from my husband, while he was doing work in another room. (No, he doesn't monitor what I eat, but he knows I'm trying to diet and has been very supportive. I would've been embarrassed if he saw me eat all that, so I hid it from him.)

Total screw-ups for weekend: 1740 calories, or almost HALF A POUND OF FAT.

I feel like such an idiot.

I know I need to stop beating myself up and just get back on track, but I feel pretty guilty and unmotivated.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KCRACHAEL1 5/6/2013 1:27PM

    Thanks, everyone! I'm actually feeling better already. I think I need to spend more time on this site; the positive reinforcement is great.

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GOLDENROSE5 5/6/2013 11:05AM

    It was pizza and Mexican food (and a couple of margaritas) for me over the course of this last week. But if you push that reset button today and don't let yourself slide any further, it will be so much easier to bounce back!

You can do it! Find something you enjoy doing and go do that! Make yourself feel like you have accomplished something~exercise harder than you might on any given day. Push yourself just a little further mentally and you'll have accomplished so much! :D

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BEBOP4ME 5/6/2013 10:50AM

    There is a great article i just read on sparkpeople on binge eating. A couple points from the article: don't beat yourself up, just get back on track today. Don't try to make up for this weekend by undereating or extra workouts - just get back on following your normal plan. Last, if you messed up because you ate thing you don't normally allow yourself, start working them into your week so you don't ever feel you are deprived of them. emoticon

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INDNANNA1979 5/6/2013 10:24AM

    I feel guilty when I screw up too (and boy have I done it a lot lately). But you are right, don't beat yourself up over it too badly. We all screw up because food is everywhere and in our American culture you are expected to eat and drink and be merry. Look t today as a fresh start and forget this weekend. Its a new week! You never know what you can do until you try!
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