I backslid. A lot.
Monday, May 06, 2013
I'm having a really hard time with motivation right now. I was doing great for the past 3 weeks--I had lost 1.5 inches off my waist, ran faster, lifted more weight.
But my rate of improvement slowed down, and I started getting bored and discouraged and tired of limiting my food intake. I really messed up with my diet Thursday-Sunday, and now that it's Monday morning, I'm finding myself unmotivated to get back on track.
Every week, I allow myself one "free day" where I can eat what I crave and not count calories. This has worked for me in the past and it makes me feel much less deprived because it's something I can look forward to. My free day this weekend was Saturday, so I have an excuse for that day, but here are the bad things I ate Thursday, Friday, and Sunday:
-4 glasses of wine at an alumni event (I had budgeted calories for 2, so only 2 of these were "bad")
-A piece of pizza once I got home from said alumni event
-Total screw-up value: 450 calories
-3 Milano cookies
-A handful of Raisinets
-An extra beer
Total screw-up value: 450 calories
-2 handfuls of Chex mix
-1 serving Mint Chip dairy-free ice cream
-2 ounces Amaretto
-1 handful Jelly Bellys
-1 ounce pistachios
Total screw-up value: 840 calories
The worst part about this one on Sunday was, I felt so ashamed of myself that I deliberately hid some of those screw-up calories from my husband, while he was doing work in another room. (No, he doesn't monitor what I eat, but he knows I'm trying to diet and has been very supportive. I would've been embarrassed if he saw me eat all that, so I hid it from him.)
Total screw-ups for weekend: 1740 calories, or almost HALF A POUND OF FAT.
I feel like such an idiot.
I know I need to stop beating myself up and just get back on track, but I feel pretty guilty and unmotivated.