Monday, May 06, 2013
Nope, I am not a wedding or event planner. I took on this task several months ago when my nephew became engaged. So why, you ask? The bride to be is military and is based far away from home, she's very young (24) and although her mom and sisters are around, they all claimed to not know what to do. My nephew is like my aldult son, only, I'm not old enough to be his mom.
Fourteen years ago, my much older brother passed away tragically leaving behind two daughters, his wife and a son from a previous relationship. My nephew was 13 years old, living in foreign country with his sisters and stepmom, confused and hurting from the loss of his dad. After a few months, as a family, we made the decision that he was better off either going back to our home country to live with his mom or moving from the west coast to the east coast to live with me. Youth is the great equalizer I tell you because I could not at the time appreciate the tremendous responsibility I was taking on at 21 years old. BUT, we made it. Sure we had ups and downs and I had to learn to become a strong disciplinarian and a parent to a teenager who felt lost for a long time. We had more good times than bad, we have memories and a connection like no other, we grieved the loss of my brother together, we grew together and we both came out better than we were went we started. When my nephew needs advice, he comes to me, he seeks my blessing for major life changes and although he has a great realtionship with his mom (as do I), he generally gives me the last say. So in many ways, at 27 years old, he is my adult son. (And no, I don't think this preparation is going to make sailing through my daughter's teenage years a breeze.)
Him and his fiance planned on getting married in a simple courthouse/city hall wedding with no reception because they wanted to get married before she's sent overseas and they don't have the money for a wedding. They hoped to save money for a vow renewal ceremony and reception some time in the future. After 5 years together, his finance is like a member of my family and I know that deep down, every young girl wants her fairytale moment, so I offered to pay for a small wedding and reception. I figured my involvement would be limited to giving them the money, boy was I mistaken!
She asked if I would help her with a to-do list of things that needs to be done for wedding, I said yes but little did I know I would be executing the list personally. Anyway it's been tons of fun and come June 1, they will have a wonderful day and be off on the their life journey. It is going to be strange not having my nephew close by all the time.