Monday, May 06, 2013
Almost 9 months ago I was fired from the job I'd had since before I was married or had children- the first job I got out of graduate school- I was totally blindsided. At the same time- I was unhealthy, constantly stressed, unhappy and totally immersed in disfunction.
I immediately started applying for new jobs- I would struggle to make it from the parking lot and worry if I would fit in the interview chairs, I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself.
In December I visited with my girlfriend and we talked about how out of shape we both were- she suggested we go to weight watchers after the new year. I decided to give it a try and while I waited for her to find a meeting we could both attend, I remembered hearing about sparkpeople as a help for weight loss. So while I waited for WWs I went on and started exploring. I did both things at the same time though my heart belonged to Sparkpeople very quickly- I tracked my food and my exercise and I read and read and read......
I found a world of caring people from all different circumstances- from all over the world, all trying to find a new healthy life. Some had lots of weight to lose, some small but all wanted to recover from the hold food had on their lives.
Little by little I got healthier, I kept applying for jobs and went on interviews for two more jobs.
The last job I interviewed for is the new job I have now- I don't make anywhere near as much money as I used to but I feel like I am where I am supposed to be.
Now I work with people who are in recovery for other reasons- mental illness, drugs, alcohol- some food as well. And all the things I have learned from you and my own journey help me support these people-we work on taking one day at a time, building people up with their strengths and supporting them when they feel or get stuck. 99% of them are in far worse circumstances than I have ever been in but we speak the same language of healing. I learn from them and believe I can be with them in their struggle better than I ever could have been.
The terrible experience I had in September was a blessing in disguise which is a cliche but so true. Two of my best friends have talked not just about my weight loss but about how healthier and happier I am. I love my job- ( i am not totally crazy- the paperwork and bureaucracy can be overwhelming.) but I have a job that matches my strengths and supports my own health.
And as we all know this is a journey- while I am thrilled with the 50 pounds I lost- I still have a long way to go- exercise I enjoy the most when its over- food goes up and down but overall I feel like I am becoming more myself. The NSVs have been wonderful- I am no longer out of breath by the time I walk to the garage from my house- I go shopping and no longer have a back ache when I am half way through or am drenched in sweat in the middle of winter. I am eating healthier than I have in years and most of the time I prefer those foods-
Spark people has gotten me closer to my true self than I've been in years.
Much as I would like to believe I am out of the woods with my food problems I know I am not- the smallest emotional upset can make me want to go for the food but I am proud to say I have never had an all out binge since I started. I know I am fortunate- my weight loss has been dramatic but I know it will slow down and I will be on plateaus and the old eating patterns will be calling my name but now I know I can always come here and find someone or something that will give me support and help me stop or at least slow down.
And everyone on here- no matter what kind of difficult time they are having has something to help someone else with- funny stories, inspirational pictures and words- we can help each other on sparkpeople while helping ourselves and that is the best gift of all.
And now that I have bored you all with my Sunday sermon- I am going to bed!