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Blessings in disguise and a long journey...

Monday, May 06, 2013

Almost 9 months ago I was fired from the job I'd had since before I was married or had children- the first job I got out of graduate school- I was totally blindsided. At the same time- I was unhealthy, constantly stressed, unhappy and totally immersed in disfunction.

I immediately started applying for new jobs- I would struggle to make it from the parking lot and worry if I would fit in the interview chairs, I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself.

In December I visited with my girlfriend and we talked about how out of shape we both were- she suggested we go to weight watchers after the new year. I decided to give it a try and while I waited for her to find a meeting we could both attend, I remembered hearing about sparkpeople as a help for weight loss. So while I waited for WWs I went on and started exploring. I did both things at the same time though my heart belonged to Sparkpeople very quickly- I tracked my food and my exercise and I read and read and read......

I found a world of caring people from all different circumstances- from all over the world, all trying to find a new healthy life. Some had lots of weight to lose, some small but all wanted to recover from the hold food had on their lives.
Little by little I got healthier, I kept applying for jobs and went on interviews for two more jobs.
The last job I interviewed for is the new job I have now- I don't make anywhere near as much money as I used to but I feel like I am where I am supposed to be.

Now I work with people who are in recovery for other reasons- mental illness, drugs, alcohol- some food as well. And all the things I have learned from you and my own journey help me support these people-we work on taking one day at a time, building people up with their strengths and supporting them when they feel or get stuck. 99% of them are in far worse circumstances than I have ever been in but we speak the same language of healing. I learn from them and believe I can be with them in their struggle better than I ever could have been.

The terrible experience I had in September was a blessing in disguise which is a cliche but so true. Two of my best friends have talked not just about my weight loss but about how healthier and happier I am. I love my job- ( i am not totally crazy- the paperwork and bureaucracy can be overwhelming.) but I have a job that matches my strengths and supports my own health.

And as we all know this is a journey- while I am thrilled with the 50 pounds I lost- I still have a long way to go- exercise I enjoy the most when its over- food goes up and down but overall I feel like I am becoming more myself. The NSVs have been wonderful- I am no longer out of breath by the time I walk to the garage from my house- I go shopping and no longer have a back ache when I am half way through or am drenched in sweat in the middle of winter. I am eating healthier than I have in years and most of the time I prefer those foods-
Spark people has gotten me closer to my true self than I've been in years.

Much as I would like to believe I am out of the woods with my food problems I know I am not- the smallest emotional upset can make me want to go for the food but I am proud to say I have never had an all out binge since I started. I know I am fortunate- my weight loss has been dramatic but I know it will slow down and I will be on plateaus and the old eating patterns will be calling my name but now I know I can always come here and find someone or something that will give me support and help me stop or at least slow down.
And everyone on here- no matter what kind of difficult time they are having has something to help someone else with- funny stories, inspirational pictures and words- we can help each other on sparkpeople while helping ourselves and that is the best gift of all.

And now that I have bored you all with my Sunday sermon- I am going to bed!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you for sharing your story, it fills me with hope. emoticon
    1772 days ago
  • 1EMMA2011
    Great job in finding a path that matches your strengths. While the disappointing experience of September was unfortunate, you found a way to heal and take your life in a positive direction. You should be commended!

    1783 days ago
    You are such a wonderful person. I am so glad I read your blog today I needed it. To see that you have made great success but had bumps here and there encourages me more then you know. I went through the same thing with not having a job and after a while didn't think I would ever get one. I have had my job now for a year and LOVE IT. Sometimes the change that we fear the most is the best for us. Thank you for all your support. I know this last week I struggled with a lot of different things and I had to tell myself this is worth it. I want to be healthy me. Thanks for sharing your stroy it really helped me today! emoticon
    1783 days ago
    You have told my story...sans the job part...I weigh in at WW to have face to face accountability...but SP has my applause!! Keep Sparkin'!!
    1783 days ago
    I had already lost a lot of weight when i found SP, but the difference has been that it has helped me stick to it. Each time a crisis has occurred, and I've gone backwards, the support I have found here has dragged me, (kicking and screaming sometimes) back to the way I know is better for me.
    1783 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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