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    MARIANNE9855   10,910
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Blessings in disguise and a long journey...

Monday, May 06, 2013

Almost 9 months ago I was fired from the job I'd had since before I was married or had children- the first job I got out of graduate school- I was totally blindsided. At the same time- I was unhealthy, constantly stressed, unhappy and totally immersed in disfunction.

I immediately started applying for new jobs- I would struggle to make it from the parking lot and worry if I would fit in the interview chairs, I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself.

In December I visited with my girlfriend and we talked about how out of shape we both were- she suggested we go to weight watchers after the new year. I decided to give it a try and while I waited for her to find a meeting we could both attend, I remembered hearing about sparkpeople as a help for weight loss. So while I waited for WWs I went on and started exploring. I did both things at the same time though my heart belonged to Sparkpeople very quickly- I tracked my food and my exercise and I read and read and read......

I found a world of caring people from all different circumstances- from all over the world, all trying to find a new healthy life. Some had lots of weight to lose, some small but all wanted to recover from the hold food had on their lives.
Little by little I got healthier, I kept applying for jobs and went on interviews for two more jobs.
The last job I interviewed for is the new job I have now- I don't make anywhere near as much money as I used to but I feel like I am where I am supposed to be.

Now I work with people who are in recovery for other reasons- mental illness, drugs, alcohol- some food as well. And all the things I have learned from you and my own journey help me support these people-we work on taking one day at a time, building people up with their strengths and supporting them when they feel or get stuck. 99% of them are in far worse circumstances than I have ever been in but we speak the same language of healing. I learn from them and believe I can be with them in their struggle better than I ever could have been.

The terrible experience I had in September was a blessing in disguise which is a cliche but so true. Two of my best friends have talked not just about my weight loss but about how healthier and happier I am. I love my job- ( i am not totally crazy- the paperwork and bureaucracy can be overwhelming.) but I have a job that matches my strengths and supports my own health.

And as we all know this is a journey- while I am thrilled with the 50 pounds I lost- I still have a long way to go- exercise I enjoy the most when its over- food goes up and down but overall I feel like I am becoming more myself. The NSVs have been wonderful- I am no longer out of breath by the time I walk to the garage from my house- I go shopping and no longer have a back ache when I am half way through or am drenched in sweat in the middle of winter. I am eating healthier than I have in years and most of the time I prefer those foods-
Spark people has gotten me closer to my true self than I've been in years.

Much as I would like to believe I am out of the woods with my food problems I know I am not- the smallest emotional upset can make me want to go for the food but I am proud to say I have never had an all out binge since I started. I know I am fortunate- my weight loss has been dramatic but I know it will slow down and I will be on plateaus and the old eating patterns will be calling my name but now I know I can always come here and find someone or something that will give me support and help me stop or at least slow down.
And everyone on here- no matter what kind of difficult time they are having has something to help someone else with- funny stories, inspirational pictures and words- we can help each other on sparkpeople while helping ourselves and that is the best gift of all.

And now that I have bored you all with my Sunday sermon- I am going to bed!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KIRSTENLYNN62 5/17/2013 11:37PM

    Thank you for sharing your story, it fills me with hope. emoticon

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1EMMA2011 5/6/2013 10:36AM

    Great job in finding a path that matches your strengths. While the disappointing experience of September was unfortunate, you found a way to heal and take your life in a positive direction. You should be commended!

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HONEYCART07 5/6/2013 10:17AM

    You are such a wonderful person. I am so glad I read your blog today I needed it. To see that you have made great success but had bumps here and there encourages me more then you know. I went through the same thing with not having a job and after a while didn't think I would ever get one. I have had my job now for a year and LOVE IT. Sometimes the change that we fear the most is the best for us. Thank you for all your support. I know this last week I struggled with a lot of different things and I had to tell myself this is worth it. I want to be healthy me. Thanks for sharing your stroy it really helped me today! emoticon

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TATTER3 5/6/2013 6:23AM

    You have told my story...sans the job part...I weigh in at WW to have face to face accountability...but SP has my applause!! Keep Sparkin'!!

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STONECOT 5/6/2013 4:30AM

    I had already lost a lot of weight when i found SP, but the difference has been that it has helped me stick to it. Each time a crisis has occurred, and I've gone backwards, the support I have found here has dragged me, (kicking and screaming sometimes) back to the way I know is better for me.

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