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    _MAIA_   29,867
25,000-29,999 SparkPoints

Silly Reaction Really.. but I can't seem to control it (need support)

Sunday, May 05, 2013

Well, my adventures with Avon continue. Almost all the product I ordered came in, but the acquaintance that I started using Avon had her order not come in at all, she's not happy about it. And I've decided to try to open an account again at a credit union, but I'm not sure I can, because I used to have one about 10 years ago there and it ended badly. If not there then I know where I can open one up, and even if they saddle me with the "fresh economic start" type checking, it will be half of the price per month of where I am now.. Hopefully I qualify for the free checking. Where I am now has just made one mistake too many, and failed to show me why or why it won't happen again, so I am austa la pasta as they say (may be spelled wrong) Anyway.. I'll know either way tomorrow because I am going to talk to them in person (*sweaty clammy hands as I type this* really, come on.. its ridiculous for me to be this anxious.. what are they going to say to me.. I can't bank with them? I'm not banking with them now.. big whoop... actually I think the thing is this is bringing back all the feelings I had when the other account ended.. the despair, fear, anxiety, shame.. I only had a $500 credit limit and it was a student account and I'd been out of work for two years and couldn't even pay my minimums on the card anymore. Finally I got a letter saying that if I didn't pay the whole amount off that they would cancel my accounts and I wouldn't be able to bank with them anymore. My parents paid the amount but not soon enough. I brought it up to them when I finally didn't know what to do, but they said that I needed to figure out how to pay my own bills, which was true.. but it was so close to the deadline when I finally asked that I was out of options.. I waited until the day of the deadline and then attempted suicide in a park after closing when I was relatively sure no one would be there, but someone was and they took me to the hospital. Now it seems stupid. Suicide over $500 and a bad credit rating? But there it was. I have another account with another bank now (albeit, a crappy one comparitively) and credit.. I can't believe I thought my life was over.. that was then, this is now.. but my palms are sweating like crazy and I'd give almost anything not to have to face this conversation tomorrow.. my parents, significant other, and friends think I should talk to them. I tried opening an account online (less painful) but it said I already had one or an active loan with them, so Dad thinks they may not have even closed the account.. i wont know till I find out)

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
4EVERNESS 5/7/2013 6:43PM

    Glad to hear the good news! It's wonderful when there are happy things that can happen when you confront your fears.

Keep up the good work!

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_MAIA_ 5/7/2013 3:55AM

    Ok well.. I'm glad I stuck with it and got through it.. I talked to them and in the end they said I could re-apply and I was approved for a new account with them, like the old one never happened. So now I am going to have two interest bearing, no monthly fee accounts, in place of the two noninterest bearing $20 a month accounts I had.

Thank you for replying BeckyBoo08

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BECKYBOO08 5/5/2013 11:13PM

    What is the worse that can happen. No account?????? Is that really that bad? Not really. You need to go in there strong and be in control. You need to have the attitude that it is them missing out if you don't bank with them. If they haven't closed your old account then there you go you are still with them. Be positive.

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