Sunday, May 05, 2013
It has been five days since my life has been turned upside down. It has been a constant roller coaster of emotions... up, down, sideways. It's two parts - good and bad - totally separate from the other. Each is very huge!
Part 1: I broke up with my boyfriend. Since we live together, I am here for the next month. The next two days we both were really happy to be free and it was peaceful around the house. Than the next two days I was so mad at him and myself. I questioned why I stayed, why I let him treat me that way, why I moved in, why I didn't see it before. Now, today I am really sad. He's being really nice to me and doing me favors. Things he doesn't have to do. It makes it harder. It was so much easier when I could curse about him. Now, it just hurts that there is no future. I have wondered maybe it could have worked if his mom didn't live with us or if he had a job or treated me first and not like a third wheel. In the end, I know these questions do not matter because that ship that is sailed. That doesn't mean I am not sad about seeing that ship has sailed. Around June 1st I am moving out. At supper, it was just us two at the table and we got to have some alone time which I think it made it that much worse. Anyhow, he asked if I was going on the trip with them June 8th. Sometimes we still treat each other as our loved one so I don't think he understand I won't be around.
Part 2: This part is actually really good news. I had an interview with Habitat for Humanity as an AmeriCorp VISTA member. The phone interview initially was supposed to be 30-40 minutes. Mine lasted a hour. At the end, I was offered the job on the spot. And, I accepted. This position is not in the same town as I live but rather FOUR hours away. It is away from everything I know. The community I have come to love in the last five years while in college. My parents will now be four hours away rather than the one hour. My sisters will be slightly closer to me with two hours away. I won't know anyone down there. I AM excited for the new beginnings. This upcoming weekend I will be traveling down to my sisters, attending the toxification wrap party, than checking out apartments. Than, about two weeks later, I will be moving down there. After the year is up, if I like it, I will be applying do the AmeriCorp program again. At the completion of one year, an education award will be awarded of $5,500 toward my loans. I definitely need it. I am thinking after two years, I will be going back to school for Physical Therapy. At the very least, now that I am unattached, I feel like I stretch my wings and find out where I want to go. It is exciting to move somewhere new. I am a little sad that I will miss seeing the Tall Ships or Grandma's Marathon.. anyone local need an entry for Irvin 5K? I have one and I don't think I will be using it.
As you can see, my emotions are all over the place but right now I think I need a hug so I am giving myself one, lol.