Sunday, May 05, 2013
well NO... well okay Yes - Maybe.
Theres nothing better than geting on the scale one sunday morning after morning ritual - and seeing the scale go down. But when you realized you never really truly weighed in the first time - and it looks like you didnt loose nuttin. WEll POOP. Oh well.
You see I came back and kinda not really wanted to change my weight. I was at 186 ... Im not now. Not that I didnt get on the scale - I was too scared to actually write it down. Not even that -- but I had weighed a while before I came back... and it had been a while. SO yeah. Im not sure where my tipping poing really was... but I am making headway.
You got my totebag packin in the morning - so I have my clothes ready at the end of the day (530P) and I've been going and getting to exercising. I have a plan A and plan B to make sure I get there in my head. So thats good.
I've been eating a breakfast (wow) and eating good protein veges and sometimes a carb for lunch. I havent been perfect - cuz I mean - who is? But I'm becoming conscious again about what to put in my piehole. I didnt let the office snacks de-rail me. But probably ate more than I should a couple of times. Just cuz I was sooo stinking hungry. But I havent eat too much where I was sleepy and groggy afterwards. (meaning my sugars didnt skyrocket into the ozone and but me in a sugar induced coma.
But as things normally happen... we just keep moving forward. I put some motivational things up around my cubbie so I have visiual cues to jog my memory. I've come back and started tracking my food stuffs and my exercise. I do have a question tho --- how do we track our exercise weight machine stuff? It used to be there... and for the life of me I cant figure it out. That kinda drives me crazy... cuz yano I cant remember the names of the machines anyway - I just know what burns like fire-ah when Im on it! LOL I can tell where I've lost alot of my strength and I still battle the knee thing. I guess that will be ongoing. I wont let it beat me tho.... gosh dern it.
My vision of where I want to be... it becoming clear again.
It's easy to know what things we dont like... but its hard to see sometimes where we are going. Its like ... dark... then fuzzy. But I feel my enthusiasm trying to come back.
I think thats a good thing.
Im crazing an artichoke. I dont know what THAT means.
I enjoyed my brussell sprouts one day for lunch - even if my coworkers looked at my like the crazy ol cat lady. lol
I was sad I couldnt do the sprint for life this year (even I know Im not ready) but I wore my shirt from a previous year or friday to support them. The year was 2009. I realized just how much time has actually gone by - that was my FIRST 5k I did when I initially started trying to lose my weight. That kinda made me sad.
I still havent gone to my old gym (altho Im paying for it)... why does it always look so dern crowded there? Why? well its dumb. I am embarressed ... thinking folks will KNOW I gained some back... and cuz the last time I went - my car got broke into and my purse was stole. That really freaked me out. I shouldnt let it stop me going there (esp on the weekends) but it is. I guess I need to get a grip about that.
I'm trying to be more creative. I have a smashbook that Im kinda working in. And I have lots of art supplies that I am playing with and seeing how they work. There isnt a theme per say. It just kinda makes me happy! :) I saw someone else had a creative journal type thing going... but I dont feel like Ive let my creative stuff fly yet. It just makes me happy feeling. And I'll take that.
well... its time to move the laundry and get more coffee... Im starting to get woke up.
THe scale still reads 205.5. But I know Ive made headway. I can feel it.
So Im gonna put on my cape and FLY a while.