Sunday, May 05, 2013
I've been heavy almost all my life. Over and over again I lose weight, get trim, feel great and then put it all back on. I've been dieting since middle school. I always am too strict, eating the bare minimum and beat myself up if I eat too much or miss a day of exercise. I can get obsessive. When I was younger my diets were really borderline (if not full fledged) eating disorders. When I start to gain I give up everything and gain it all back in months.
this time I wanted it to be different. I wanted to eat in a reasonable range and not so restrictive that I couldn't maintain it. I wanted to find fun ways of being active.
I'm feeling discouraged. Today was a weekly weigh in. Same as last time. No gain, which is great but no loss either. So in a month I've lost 1.5 pounds total.
I have slipped several times, and I have been eating in the upper range. I have gotten some exercise most days but am not really pushing myself.
I'm wondering if I should "get serious" Do I go back to what I know will take this weight off (as it has many times before)? Do I weigh each morsel of food, keep to the very lowest calorie goal safe for an adult, and work out until I'm sweaty and can't do a bit more. I'll get thinner, but will it just be part of the same cycle?
I'm going to make some changes. I need to get some of this weight off. I don't fit into any of my summer clothes. But I'm going to try not to slip into the same old obsessive patterns. I know that way just leads to my chucking it all in and gaining it back. This time I want a maintainable life style change.