Saturday, May 04, 2013
I believe that one's happiness at any given point is divided into four quarters:
(1) Family/ Love
Right now I am happy in two of the three...love and friends... despite my one year hiatus last year (moved to Boston but moved back to be with my b/f), I've lived here since 2002. I don't feel energized or inspired by this city anymore...
As for work, I moved back here in Jan and have yet to find a job.
Now any conversation I have starts with "how's the job hunt?", to which I have no updates...
And then there's the fact that my boyfriend & I want to take advantage of the housing market and buy a house!! Exciting, right?! But I can't contribute to the
"money down" and that makes me feel weird... AND because we're buying a house I'm feeling pressure to be engaged already. I'm 35, and apparently no spring chicken anymore. I am happy in my relationship, but the fact that I don't have a job and get crap about not being engaged is making me feel inadequate somehow... OR I'm overthinking everything and am just a little anxious about not having a job and it's bleeding into other areas of my life (making me think I have problems, when I don't).
I got really sick on Wednesday and couldn't exercise Wed or Fri. Maybe that's got something to do with it too?! Who know...
Do you ever feel really whiny?! Sometimes I feel like whenever I get together with my friends all I do is complain... I want to be happy, but I just don't feel it.