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Not a positive blog. ***Venting Alert ***

Saturday, May 04, 2013

I am ticked off at my mother, at the situation we are in.

Here's the background: After a busy day at work on a Saturday, Dave (DH) and I are finally on our way to take a short hike in the nearby State Forest. Less than a mile from home we get "desperate" texts from our DD that she left her sandals in the other car that she needs for post-prom. Turn around. Get the sandals go to the HS to try to find DD amidst all the promgoers getting on busses. My mother calls to tell me she lost her debit card and $40 way earlier in the day - and she's called the store and the cab company. Okay, I'll the call bank, get the card cancelled. The number on the back of my card for her account (jointly held) yields a message that "we are now closed". Really? So now instead of resuming our plans we go back to our house again. I check her account online (it's fine) and find a 24/7 number to call, and deal with cancelling the card. Dave and I go for our short hike, then shopping to pick up some energy bars for our 8-mile training run/walk tomorrow morning. My mother calls again to find if I've called the bank (yes, I said I would). At the end of that conversation, she realizes she has no money now to pay for a cab to go to the doctor's office first thing Monday morning to get her TB test, the next step in the process of moving her to an assistedliving place closer to me. Right now she is an hour away. I am so mad and frustrated at this point that I barely restrain my emotions as I tell I will figure out a way to deal with it. Here's the sitch - she has no cash and needs $12 for cab far to/from doctor first thing Monday morning. DH and I have training in the morning. I work tomorrow (Sunday) 1-9:30pm, then Monday 6am-12noon. I do not have time to make the 2+ hour round trip to run money out to her. She does not have anyone local she can ask to borrow the money from, nor anyone to give her a ride.

DH has volunteered to make the drive while I work. I do not feel he should be the one doing this. He should be doing dad and Dave stuff, staying at his own home on one of his days off.

Yes, my mother is getting older, less capable of things she used to do. I get frustrated and angry sometimes that the supervision of her care and being the emergency contact, rescuer falls solely to me. My sister has MS, lives two hours away and is not able to help. My jerk of a brother now lives six hours away. In the past, he and his wife have nastily criticized my involvement in the care for our mother. And he never apologized. There is whole huge history there. (Time to take a deep breath).

I did message my aunt, my mother's sister, asking her to help if she was going to be in Mother's area tomorrow. She is working also.

As of right now, I am either going to have to try to drive out there between the training run and work tomorrow, or take DH up on his offer. Or cancel the appointment at the last minute, which seems like a jerkish thing to do. Mother screwed up - having to wait another day or two to get the blood draw may just have to happen. I'll have to go out there again this week to bring her back here for a nursing assessment at the new place anyway.

Sure wish I'd vented earlier - before I overate. But at least the gum chewing and venting "on paper" right now is better than eating even more.


I dithered about whether to post this or just do a journal entry. Decided to post it in hope of support. And so others could maybe relate or learn something from the insight about dealing with feelings some way other than eating.

Yes, I tracked all my food. My food tracking and exercise streaks now stand at six days! :)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I know you don't like to have to share the responsibilty with DH since it should be your family that helps but he is your partner for life. Better or worse in sinckness and in helath right? This includes caring for your family. Yes this is an inconvience for both of you but he seen your frustration and is willing to help you to take some of this away.

    I really hope things work out with all of this! Love ya - Mary my fellow duck
    1777 days ago
  • CHERYLA2012
    Thank you for sharing and allowing us a glimpse into how you handled a stressful emotional eating situation.

    emoticon emoticon
    1778 days ago
    Vent away. I think it's huge that you realized it might have been better to vent first before eating. That said, you handled it responsibly.
    Way to go on the streak! emoticon
    1778 days ago
    1779 days ago

    I am glad that you blogged and vented instead of eating. I know that it is frustrating and I am sorry that you don't have the support from your siblings to help you with this.

    1779 days ago
  • BECCA315
    emoticon Glad you were able to vent instead of eating your way out of this situation. Dealing with aging parents is never easy. Becca
    1779 days ago
  • OWL_20
    My mom is 90, edging towards assisted living also and I can relate. And thanks for posting, not only is it a good way to vent, but I'll remember the next time I'm heading for the cupboards because of family interactions. A million hugs. emoticon
    1779 days ago
  • JUNEAU2010
    I'm glad you shared this, not just for the value of venting, but, the next time I feel stressed and reach for food self-medication, I will remember your situation, think about mine and say to myself - mine is not so bad and if she did not overeat, neither will I!
    1779 days ago
    1779 days ago
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