8,500-9,999 SparkPoints 9,739

Must find my motivation

Saturday, May 04, 2013

My husband cornered me last night and confronted me about my unhealthy self. All I do when I'm not working is sit on the couch or sleep. I love sleep. I could sleep most of the day if life would let me. I would sleep in, take two or three naps...I love sleep! I also don't love exercise. I am not and have never been one of those people who says, "I just look forward to my run." or "I love my time on the eliptical." The gym is a bad place in my mind, going for a walk or run takes energy I don't usually have (morning or night doesn't matter when i try to fit it in) and classes just frustrate me because I can't keep up and I feel like an idiot.

I have developed this horrible appathy toward myself and I really don't care that I've gained A LOT of weight or that I'm really unhealthy. I think its even starting to effect the way my husband sees me and that is only mildly concerning. But he seems genuinely worried about my health so last night when he got serious with me I agreed to get on the band wagon and try to get back to diet and exercise.

But here's the problem. We have tried this before and it always works for a little while and then we just slowly go back to our old ways. I brought this up as a concern to my husband and he posed the question to me...."Well, what motivates you?" And my true answer to that is I don't know. I haven't felt motivated in so long, and I've been quite depressed lately that I really don't know what will get me motivated again. A couple of years ago we set monthly goals and had a reward at the end of each month if we had met those goal. That worked well then but I don't know what kind of rewards to set up or even what some good monthly goals would be. I feel lost with his question and truly don't have an answer and he really wants an answer because I think he truly wants to help me.

I would love to be slender and attractive again but I don't know if I want it enough to put the effort into it and I don't know what will make me want it. I am going to try and come up with three goals for the month and three rewards to go with the goals but I really don't know if that is going to be really motivating or not.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You may be suffering from clinical depression and may need to see a specialist. If I was you, I would make an appointment ASAP. While waiting for the appointment, take a 10 minute walk daily. Depression is hard to fight so you need to take it one step at the time. Since the scriptures say that faith without works is dead, your faith will expand as you do something for yourself as well. So, make the appointment and walk 10 minutes per day. Slowly, you will find your way. I have been where you are so I know how difficult it is but it is not impossible. I believe you can do it. emoticon emoticon
    Love, Chelsea
    1781 days ago
    emoticon for blogging. I am hearing a lot of hopelessness, sleeping too much, eating too much, poor concentration. These are all signs of depression. Have you talked to your Medical Practitioner about this?
    If you are already on an anti-depressant, it isn't working...ask about trying a different one. emoticon
    1781 days ago
    Since you love sleep so much, just think of the deep, restful sleep you'll get after a good workout. ;) It doesn't have to be an all-out sweat fest, just start with a walk around the block. Get hubby to join you. What made you join SP in the first place? What goals did you have then? Take some time and maybe even journal about where you are now and what you'd like to accomplish, then come up with some goals and rewards. I'll be saying some prayers for you too.
    1781 days ago
    I get in a rut sometimes too. I could sleep my life away if my husband and kids would let me!! I go through periods of different things motivating me. I started this journey because I felt gross....none of my clothes fit and it was hard to move. Now my motivation is to not end up like my mother when I am her age. She is a Grandmother who isn't very involved in her grandkids life because her heath is so poor. Many of her health issues are the result of excess weight (bad knees, diabetes) but she can't see that she has done a lot of this to herself. Think hard about why you want to be healthier and don't ever give up. If you stumble just get up and try again and again until it sticks!! emoticon
    1781 days ago
    Walking is about the best place to start. That one step/minute at a time. Walk 1 min in one direction and one minute back. Then the next day add another minute. In no time, you'll work your way up to 30 minutes. Once there, try walking faster to get further. Start small and keep going. In one month you could be like me. This winter, I went to physio and acupuncture for my knees. When I started walking about a month ago, I went about 2-3 houses down the street. If you have a husband like mine, he can help motivate you by going on the walk with you. Today, I can do the 2.5 K loop (including a hill) in under 30 mins - my goal is to do it under 20 minutes! Remember improvements don't happen over night but you can accomplish goals if you take them one step at a time.:) emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.