Saturday, May 04, 2013
I have a bad habit. I weigh myself at least once a day. I see that number and how it hasn't budged, then usually swear at the scale under my breath. My scale even tracks tenths of a pound, so I can see if I go up even a little giving me more to stress over. If I don't exercise, I weigh myself so I can see how badly I'm treating myself. If I overeat the day before, I weigh myself the following day so I can say, "Yep, I told you so." I don't treat myself right and so the scale doesn't move. Its a personal reminder of how much I suck. Everyday, usually in the morning, its a reminder of what I'm not, following me through the day like my own personal raincloud. It wasn't until this morning when I stepped on my digital scale and it read 'LO' for low battery and wouldn't given me the number I loathe and depend on that something changed.
Instead of stressing about it, I rejoiced. I don't have to focus on that number anymore! I can look inward and concentrate on how I feel as a gauge instead of an external gadget. I'm going to use my clothes as a measurement of health. Best of all, I'm going to give the day a fair start without piling that number on my shoulders to carry around with me.
While making a salad for lunch, my husband asked why I was doing a happy dance. I stopped and thought for a second. I replied, "Because I feel good." Eating healthy, moving more and thinking positively is giving me something I didn't know I was missing. Feeling good!