Must regain focus
Saturday, May 04, 2013
All the things that have been taunting me, hanging just out side of my control, are still there. My stress is like a recently hatched spider's egg with all these dangling spider babies blowing in the breeze. I don't like spiders. I appreciate what they do on the food chain, but I happen to be a little allergic to spider bites and having had the first reaction around age 2, it is a fear that has taken a solid hold.
Oldest: Still no answer from work and we are at the point of telling him to look for another job. If they come back and say he still has a job, great. He can tell any other places that he found another job (assuming they offered him one). He would be starting from scratch at minimum wage with no benefits (like health insurance), so I'm still hoping he hears good news soon.
Middle son: Still no answer as to what day he needs to be picked up.
I still can't re-do my budget because I still don't know how much the new camper is going to really cost us.
There are some other family issues that are causing me concern, but since they are not mine, I don't want to share them.
So yesterday, I was in a mood. I was tired. My knees were bothering me a bit more than they had been. Work was stressful this week. I was hungry. I pretty much gave in to food and probably went over my calories (among other things) more than I have since I started back in January. I usually give myself a day off a week, but still keep some sort of control. Not yesterday. Considering I didn't eat any real dessert or drink anything (no Guinness, no vodka), I was pretty shocked looking at the numbers. Not shocked enough to stop. It really was a conscious choice to keep eating.
However, it's time to dust myself off and get back on board. I've wallowed in self pity enough and I'm getting on my own nerves. I have a game plan for today. Dishes, more coffee, make a to-do list. Go to the bank, drop stuff off at Salvation Army (not much, but a start of de-cluttering), drop off money to my husband for the new hitch we need to pull the new camper, grocery store and play ground. I need to get in my PT exercises as well.
Writing. My writing has taken such a major backseat in my life and it's making me very uncomfortable, so no matter what else happens today, I have to get some writing in.
So that is my plan.