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    CDCSMITH2013   43,215
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Must regain focus

Saturday, May 04, 2013

All the things that have been taunting me, hanging just out side of my control, are still there. My stress is like a recently hatched spider's egg with all these dangling spider babies blowing in the breeze. I don't like spiders. I appreciate what they do on the food chain, but I happen to be a little allergic to spider bites and having had the first reaction around age 2, it is a fear that has taken a solid hold.

Oldest: Still no answer from work and we are at the point of telling him to look for another job. If they come back and say he still has a job, great. He can tell any other places that he found another job (assuming they offered him one). He would be starting from scratch at minimum wage with no benefits (like health insurance), so I'm still hoping he hears good news soon.

Middle son: Still no answer as to what day he needs to be picked up.

I still can't re-do my budget because I still don't know how much the new camper is going to really cost us.

There are some other family issues that are causing me concern, but since they are not mine, I don't want to share them.

So yesterday, I was in a mood. I was tired. My knees were bothering me a bit more than they had been. Work was stressful this week. I was hungry. I pretty much gave in to food and probably went over my calories (among other things) more than I have since I started back in January. I usually give myself a day off a week, but still keep some sort of control. Not yesterday. Considering I didn't eat any real dessert or drink anything (no Guinness, no vodka), I was pretty shocked looking at the numbers. Not shocked enough to stop. It really was a conscious choice to keep eating.

However, it's time to dust myself off and get back on board. I've wallowed in self pity enough and I'm getting on my own nerves. I have a game plan for today. Dishes, more coffee, make a to-do list. Go to the bank, drop stuff off at Salvation Army (not much, but a start of de-cluttering), drop off money to my husband for the new hitch we need to pull the new camper, grocery store and play ground. I need to get in my PT exercises as well.

Writing. My writing has taken such a major backseat in my life and it's making me very uncomfortable, so no matter what else happens today, I have to get some writing in.

So that is my plan.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOPPY_ 5/6/2013 12:08AM

    Stock up on fresh fruits. Eat those if you must.

Try some hot drinks that you like. Keep those in stock, too.

A large snack salad is also a hunger abater.

Progress is all you can ask for.

Lee



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KAYSON25 5/4/2013 7:58AM

    It is good to have a plan. Sometimes I just eat, too, but even then it is not as bad as it used to be. I am trying to eat something healthy when that happens, since I can't seem to lose that habit completely. Trying to not step to the side too often, but haven't developed enough habits to walk straight!LOL. Good luck with your busy life!

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WEARINGTHIN 5/4/2013 7:46AM

    The Guiness and vodka sound interesting. I just learned of my Irish ancestry, and also strong connectins to being Russian. (Had some genetic testing done). My wife said, "So what are you going to do now. Drink Irish whisky and Vodka." Interesting proposition. But I think in a few minutes I will wander off to bed. Glenn

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