Saturday, May 04, 2013
April 21st I woke up and could barely move. My back was killing me. It hurt all day. I have no idea what I did. I didn't do anything different than I normally do. But I was stiff and sore all day. I woke up Monday morning feeling almost 100%, so I got my daughter off to school, got the baby dressed and off we went to the grocery store. By the time we were done I was in the van crying with pain. Time to call the chiropractor. They couldn't get me in until the next day so I had to call in sick to work. Little did I know this was just the beginning.
At my appointment it was discovered that I had a slipped/bulging disc with sciatica involvement. My back hurt, my hip had electricity shooting through it and down to my knee, the top of my foot was pins and needles. Obviously he took me out of work and told me bedrest with getting up for 10 mins every hour just to move.
So what do I do when I get upset, depressed, discouraged or any negative emotion??? I eat. I don't worry about portion sizes, calories or if it's healthy. I just eat. And then I eat some more because I'm beating myself up over eating poorly and since I've already crashed and burned might as well keep going. Only to get more upset because I was training for my first 5k and doing really well.
(2 weeks later) After a bunch of doctors visits and resting, he gave me the go ahead to start walking and to go back to work. So after a couple days of short walks, I decide that I'm feeling good, the pains much less so I went with one of my girlfriends to a couple of stores. Stupid move. Woke up today, the day I'm suppose to go back to work, in pain like it just happened again. Again stupid. But I soldier on and go to work. In pain and a little gimpy I make it through. And made a promise to myself to start again. Will I mess up? Probably. Will I get back up, dust myself off and try again? Absolutely.
So as of Midnight 5/4/13 I'm tracking my food, drinking my water and will walk slowly, short distances until given the go ahead to do more. This weight needs to come off and be gone. I've done it once and kept it off for a few years (until I got pregnant with my 1st), so I can do it again. I want to feel good about myself again. I want to look in the mirror and not cringe. My husband tells me I need to stop focusing so much on a number, but I can't help it and maybe someday I won't but for now it's the goal I have in mind. One step at a time, one day at a time, one pound at a time. I can do this!!!!