Friday, May 03, 2013
Weight loss will drive you insane! No really. I am THIS  close to losing it (my mind, not the weight). I strive so hard to do everything correctly I realize that setting myself up for failure is really what is happening. I count every little calorie that tends to make its way down my throat and into my over-sized belly. I AVOID social situations that I know will involve all of the foods that I love stuffing into my face-hole! I workout, I stress, I eat a little bit of something, I freak out that I ate it, I panic, I EAT MORE!
So this is obviously insane behavior and I should be locked up, put away, strapped down, medicated, sedated...something! My husband even tells me that I worry about it too much. But if I don't worry about it, I eat the bad things, then I worry about it more, and it is all a vicious cycle. So how do I fix this? How do I say "don't worry, be happy" when all I do is worry.
I took my husband's advice and stopped worrying for a couple weeks now. In that time I have probably eaten my weight in chocolates and snacks. Oh yes, I have been eating my fruit and eggs and vegetables and lean proteins...and CHOCOLATES and snacks. This is easygoing, free-loving me, not worrying about the 3-5 pounds I have gained AFTER I stopped worrying about doing my workout and worrying about the food I stuff in my face... (see the pattern here?)
Ok. I am going to take a very zen approach to this and say... I've made some mistakes this past week (or three). I haven't worked out like I should, and I have been eating the things that make me happy/unhappy. I can turn this around now, because I have control over what gets a free pass to Tummytown. I will make the choices that make me feel happy, and proud, and accomplished. I will lose those three pounds and continue to work towards my goal. I can do this. I can say no.
Now, alls I have to do is believe those words my happy little fingers just typed. I. Can. Do. This.
It's a new adventure everyday