Friday, May 03, 2013
Yesterday was a really hard day for me. I openly admit I have a lot going on in my life. My typical day goes something like this 6 am-2:30 PM work job 1, 3:00-7:30 spend time with my toddler, make dinner, get her to bed. 7:30-11:30 PM work job 2. Weekends are spent trying to catch up on sleep between getting in quality toddler time.
A friend at work pulled me aside yesterday to say that I need to take better care of myself. I know I come to work looking absolutely exausted. Sometimes my eyes are so baggy you can't tell if I'm tired or have a black eye. My hair is almost always just thrown up in a pony. I'm sure it was a very hard thing for her to talk to me about--I can only imagine how awkward it was for her. I was really embarrassed, but if nothing else, I can try to put a bit more consealer on under my eyes.
Truthfully, I know I have just looked beat lately. I hate that it matters at my job, but I don't really want people talking about me behind my back. I mean, my jobs both involve sitting at a computer all day, with no public contact. At both jobs, I'm consistently ranked in the top 2-3% of people in my position. So I think it just sucks that appearance matters. And I think it's obnoxious that people were starting rumors. I totally appreciate my friend coming to me about it, but I think the whole issue is just petty.
On a larger scale, I'm not sure what else I can do to keep all the balls juggling. I feel constantly overworked, and pulled from one thing to another. We need the money, so I can't really give up the jobs, and I can't imagine giving up any more time with my kid. But I haven't even gone out to dinner with my friends in 9 months now, and I don't see how I can keep up the pace. Arg!