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    BONBON561   146,395
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Sad times

Friday, May 03, 2013

Last night after work, and watching TV the phone rang. It was DH's brother in law, he was calling to let us know that DH's younger brother by 6 years had passed away. Two years ago this brother had a shunt put in his head, told he had a bad heart and diabetes. He was told not to drink beer or other alcohol . Last night he was with his adult son and they were drinking beer, the son was also taking drugs when the brother (Andy) died.
Last night all DH could talk about was playing ball with his little brother when he came home from the Army. Talking with his sister this morning we found out that Andy didn't have any insurance and she is wondering how the family can bury him-we are all on fixed incomes. This is all I know right now. The sister is to call me later today after she talks to the funeral home. To add to this a neice put on facebook that Andy died of a drug overdose which is untrue. The son is angry, and in denial as to what has happened. He first told everyone that Dad was sleeping.

Update: the niece has changed her facebook post. Andy's remains may, if his son agrees, be sent to a medical school and there would be no cost to the family. Another niece has offered her home for a memorial service. Things will be finalized Monday. Thanks everyone for your prayers

Update: No one has heard from Andy's son, so things are still on hold. DH's sister is just waiting until something is decided, either the son or the VA or both so she can move forward and get things taken care of. She is the one in the family that takes care of everything and the family is ok with that but they also expect her to be a"mind reader" and do what they want. DH and the youngest brother are the only ones that have called to help or give her support.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CTUPTON 6/10/2013 9:50AM

    Bonnie, This is sad. I hope things are getting sorted out by now. Hugs and prayers, Chris

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HAWTGRANNY2014 6/5/2013 7:53PM

    Bonnie I am so sorry. It must be hard for your family to decide what to do. Take care of yourself and try not to stress out too much. It is so sad when a family loses someone but even worse if you don't know what is going on, emoticon friend. Pam

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SUGARSMOM2 5/7/2013 9:37AM

  emoticon emoticon I am so sorry that this has happened to your family . that is what my husband and I are doing with our bodies . we have already signed the paper work . the school of medicine is taking our bodies . that way some new things may be found to help others . if this is not the way to go then perhaps cremation would be the answer . they charged my brother in law about $1000.

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GRAYGRANNY 5/5/2013 6:27PM very, very sorry to hear this. My Dh's sister passed away last Tuesday. There has been little talk from DH.........his family does not express their feelings well........and then there is the "man" thing that some let get in their way of grieving. The husband of the sister had her cremated..............nothing put in obituary or any services whatsoever. To her family it is like saying she never existed..........what a mess. My sympathies go out to your husband, you and the family..........HUGS!!!

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SPEEDY143 5/5/2013 5:49PM

    Heartfelt sympathies Bonnie emoticon You and your DH are in my prayers dear.

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LAKOTALADY 5/4/2013 11:37PM

    So sorry for your loss. You will be in my prayers and thoughts. Take care.

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LAWANDMUSIC 5/4/2013 8:28PM

    Oh, Bonnie. I am so sad for your family. Prayers coming your way.

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TATTER3 5/4/2013 12:47PM

    I'm so sorry, Bonnie. Prayers for your husband and all of you.

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LOVESLIFE48 5/4/2013 9:30AM

    Bonnie, I'm so, so sorry for your loss emoticon

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NBARNES 5/4/2013 9:25AM

    Bonnie - so sorry to hear you're mired in this. Take care of yourself and family. Here to hoping that the bad times will give way soon. emoticon

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PAWKETS 5/4/2013 9:08AM

    Very sorry for your loss
emoticon & emoticon

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PHEBESS 5/4/2013 6:23AM

    So sorry - sounds like a very difficult time for all of you, I'm sending thoughts for peace and understanding all around.

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IKACEY 5/4/2013 4:24AM

    Bonnie I am so sorry to hear of your loss. This is a horrid thing to have happen, and it is added stress to worry about the funeral costs. We too are on a fixed income and even the meagre life insurance we do have will barely cover costs now. Who know when one of us finally passes. My heart goes out to you and I will keep you and your family and situation in prayer. Lean on the Lord in your time of sadness and He will hold you close and comfort you. emoticon emoticon
IKacey co-leader of the Chair Exercise Team

Comment edited on: 5/4/2013 4:24:57 AM

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POPSY190 5/4/2013 4:21AM

    Very sad for you all.

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PHATPAT18 5/3/2013 9:55PM

    Bonnie, prayers are coming your way. emoticon

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DAS92687 5/3/2013 9:18PM

    emoticon Bonnie, you and your family are in my prayers and thoughts

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LINDA! 5/3/2013 9:06PM

    Terrible news. I am so sorry. emoticon

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BEAUTY_WITHIN 5/3/2013 8:31PM

    So sorry for your loss :( and I hope things get sorted out without too much trouble.

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JOANOFSPARK 5/3/2013 8:20PM

    so sorry to hear of your loss, Bonbon. you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. *hugs*

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EFFIEANNIE 5/3/2013 8:12PM

    You are in my thoughts tonight~so sorry about your loss.

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JD394471 5/3/2013 7:49PM

I am so sorry emoticon

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JOANNS4 5/3/2013 7:43PM

    So sorry to hear of your sad news.

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LJR4HEALTH 5/3/2013 7:33PM


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PRNCSCUP1-2FULL 5/3/2013 7:28PM

    Bonnie-- I accidently hit the "like" button on this blog and didn't mean to! I am so sorry for you and your husband's loss. It makes no difference what caused the death in the family's eyes. All they know is they lost a brother and a father. Please give your husband my sympathies. My heart goes out to all of you. Most funeral homes will work with the family when there is no insurance. Peace, Melissa

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CTUPTON 5/3/2013 6:47PM

    sorry, Bonnie. This sounds like a stressful and very tough situation. Probably he could not get insurance because of the shunt. And the whole thing is more complex because of the untrue stories going around. You can't control all this. so say some prayers for your own stability and do what you can. Again, you won't be able to control the stories going around. My family often has halve truths being passed around and it causes lots of hurts that are not necessary. Chris

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JERSEYGIRL24 5/3/2013 6:01PM

    emoticon Bonnie,

I am so sorry for your loss. I also understand about the high cost. I think it cost about $10K to bury my father last fall, relatively on the cheap. I can also understand why the false story about him dying of a drug overdose would be so upsetting. Not to mention the loss of his company and the dredging up of memories for DH.

Comment edited on: 5/3/2013 6:01:36 PM

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FITLIKENIC 5/3/2013 5:57PM


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    Oh, Bonbon, I am so sorry for your sad times. You will be in my prayers.

Hugs, Gail

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KATHARINE1948 5/3/2013 3:15PM


mY thoughts are
with you and family . my brother passed on , and he had no life insurance
the state cremated him. They will try to get the family to pay the bill emoticon

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    I am so sorry to hear of your Brother-in-law's passing. I pray for peace and comfort for you and the whole family.

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SOFEDUPP 5/3/2013 3:11PM

    Sorry to hear about your loss.


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BEEJAY49 5/3/2013 2:56PM

    I'm so sorry Bonnie. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. HUGS!

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ADVENTURE_4HIRE 5/3/2013 2:45PM

    Oh, dear dearest Bonnie!! emoticon How awful for his son and his brothers!! My heart goes out to you all. emoticon

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-COURT- 5/3/2013 2:42PM

    So Sorry Bonnie, to hear about your BIL. It is so much harder when it comes all of a sudden. My prayers as well are with you. emoticon

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CINCYDORA 5/3/2013 2:29PM

    I'm so sorry. I'll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

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COFFEEMUG2009 5/3/2013 2:15PM


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PEGGYO 5/3/2013 2:05PM


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ANIKA34 5/3/2013 1:53PM

    Sorry to hear about your loss!

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DJ4HEALTH 5/3/2013 1:43PM

    I know what you mean about it being expensive to bury a loved one. I buried my husband in Feb and it cost me over $13,000 to bury him and that was the cheapest way because he told me not to put all the money on burying him. I am just glad that he did have insurance on him to help.

So sorry to hear that he passed. Will pray for you all

Comment edited on: 5/3/2013 1:44:15 PM

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WIZKEY 5/3/2013 1:29PM

    I'm so sorry to hear this, Bonnie. That is such sad news for your family. ((hugs))

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