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    AEROBISAURUS   30,778
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... I have no title for this...

Friday, May 03, 2013

My Dads wife has been a chain smoker all her life, she is only 55.

She has COPD and a bunch of other health problems now because of her habits. She has had only 28% of her lung to use since November 25, 2012. Just last night my Dad told me they just found out she has a 2 inch diameter hole in her lung now. They're doing tests. Sad thing is that she had just been released earlier last week from other complications with her digestive track shutting down and other health problems she's been living with... Anyways ... Dad said when I asked how she was feeling that she is trying her best to stay positive, that's it.

I made plans to go on a road trip over to their house with my dog. I'll get to visit with them together and this will be a hard situation for me to be in. Me and her haven't always had the best relationship but we've always worked out our differences. Her and my dad have been very happy together for over ten years and I love her for that.

She has always been gracious, always helped us kids out when we needed the extra cash for this or that. She opened up her home so we'd all have a place to stay when we had no where else to go, sometimes months on end. Trust me 2 of hers and me, we all had to move back in with them, heh. She loves to have all us kids and grand kids over all together whenever possible. We'd all help cook a good meal, turn on the radio and start singing after we'd all started getting tipsy. She has a happy, positive, gracious, and selfless, giving spirit despite her hard life of being a single mother of 3.

We all came together and we all made a family again from both our broken homes. Giving us all new family traditions, we all looked forward too. It is all about family for her, for all of us. I have no words to express how extremely heart breaking it is to know the inevitable is coming. That we all will have to say good bye one last time and it feels like I'm loosing the family I wanted and needed once again. I can't imagine how my Dad feels and I hurt badly for him too.

Nikki.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOPINTOS 5/8/2013 4:59PM

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TIME2BLOOM4ME 5/8/2013 4:51PM

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NUOVAELLE 5/8/2013 2:32AM

    I'm so sorry for all of this, Nikki.
I hope you have all the time to express your feelings and say the things you need to say or just share the feelings you need to share even without words.
I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
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CHERIRIDDELL 5/6/2013 11:36PM

    Oh Nikki I am so sorry big hugs .My Mum smoked like a chimney and it contributed to her demise but she loved me and did her best for me.I feel your pain.

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JANETRIS 5/5/2013 9:23PM

    Hey Nikki...so sorry to hear of the challenges you and your family are facing. I will keep you in my prayers for peace and understanding to to help you through this... emoticon emoticon

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CIRANDELLA 5/4/2013 12:11AM

    Nikki, I'm so sorry...I can tell you have been such a loving stepdaughter to this dear woman. I'm familiar with COPD; my mother had it. It's such a beautiful thing that you've all built so many treasured memories together...so many wonderful times! May they sustain you and give you a measure of peace and strength as you continue to cope... emoticon

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DIDMIS 5/3/2013 11:05PM

    I just lost a brother to COPD the end of November of last year. He had COPD and black lung. Everyone should look that up and see what it looks like. He quit smoking 5 years before but he had smoked for years.

I lost a sister who chain smoked. She had a heart attack and the doc told her if she wanted to live she had to quit smoking. She quit for a bit but went back. Then she got cancer and it went all over her upper body. She passed away at 65 years of age.

She lived in a mobile home and had all the windows sealed and the door closed so it smelled horrific. She not only smoked but lived in that. Second hand smoke is very bad for you. Her daughter smoked but when her daughter was going to have a child she told her mother she could not be around the baby unless she gave up smoking. Good for her.

Comment edited on: 5/3/2013 11:06:07 PM

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NEW_PARADIGM 5/3/2013 7:44PM

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BAKER1009 5/3/2013 5:00PM

    My heart aches for you hun, I wish I could be there for you. But I am here, and I always will be, anything you need, day or night. Never forget that.

Try to make the best of the time you have. Make sure you say everything you want to, while you can. I'll say a prayer for all of you, especially your dad.

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KAPELAKIN 5/3/2013 4:09PM

    I am so sorry, what a difficult thing to go through. We lost my mom to pulmonary hypertension when she was only 48 and it was so hard and still is nearly 10 years later. I hope you are all able to spend lots of quality time while you have the chance.

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MISHAMW 5/3/2013 3:40PM

    I always hate hearing this kind of thing, because it is so so so preventable. Plus, my parents smoke and I am sure they suffer similar issues, they just don't go to doctors (they are both 61).

I hope everything goes as well as it can. My heart goes out to you.

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NEVERORNOW 5/3/2013 2:56PM

    Nikki, So sorry to hear about this, but glad you're able to go visit. Praying for all of you, and sending lots of hugs and love.

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TRUCKERWIFE2 5/3/2013 1:27PM

    My dad had a stepdad like your stepmom. It was the only dad he knew until he met his biological dad at 21. He was still closer to "Pops" after that. I'm sorry to hear how badly her health is. I am very close to your stepmom's age. Way too young to be that sick. I'm glad you and your dog are able to spend some time with her and your dad now when they need you the most. Some of that positive spirit must have rubbed off on you as you think about all the great things she was to you and not dwelling on the negative which sounds like very little. My prayers are with you and your family at this time as all of you are going through a very difficult transition. emoticon emoticon

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KANDOLAKER 5/3/2013 1:21PM

    I am so sorry for the challenges. Wishing you and your Dad's wife the best.

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ANATASHIKI 5/3/2013 1:07PM

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JACOSAURUS 5/3/2013 1:03PM

    I can see how hard this is for you and I can relate. It is hard to say goodbye when you just want more time. You will be in my thoughts and prayers this week. emoticon

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FREES1 5/3/2013 12:37PM

    What a challenge you are facing. When you and your dog visit think of the good times and not the differences.. treasure the time you have with her... and count your blessings that you do have the opportunity to say good-bye..
Peace Nikki

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PEWTERBUNNY 5/3/2013 12:19PM

    Oh Nikki! I can feel your heartbreak! When you have a rough time growing up it's good to have a wonderful family that you get to choose. My husband was a smoker and an alcoholic and that eventually caught up to him and contributed to his death. She has been a really stong and positive influence in your life, despite her flaws. i don't know what else to say. emoticon

Kathy

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