Ah! Where did my motivation go?
Friday, May 03, 2013
My old habits are definitely not going gently into that good night. They're raging, all right. It didn't take long at all for them to take back over my life again without me even really noticing it.
I guess the two things that caused it to happen were 1) a major disruption of my normal routine (I went out of town for a long weekend last weekend to visit my mom), and 2) forgetting the reasons that were motivating me to adopt a healthier lifestyle.
Because I was out of town, I wasn't blogging, and that made it a lot harder for me to keep my motivation strong. I wasn't even that "bad" out of town -- while I wasn't explicitly watching what I ate, I was conscious about eating more fruits and veggies and even did fun active stuff like kayaking and walking and biking.
It was actually this week -- when I got back home -- when the old habits took back over. Like, when I got home, instead of jumping back into my healthy routines that I had going before my trip, I jumped back into my old unhealthy routines automatically instead, without even realizing it. I guess that really proves how powerful a hold the old habits have on me.
The good news is I feel like I'm slowly waking up again and starting to remember the reasons why I don't want to live the rest of my life eating half a delivery pizza in one sitting for dinner.
The other good news is that I don't at all feel like I'm starting from scratch again. My Old Habits might still be a very strong force in my life (which is understandable considering how long I allowed them to have free reign over my life in recent years), but my new healthy habits are still around and available too. All the insights and everything from the previous several weeks of healthy living are still available again to me.
So that's good!
I think the trick is just going to be the reconnecting with my motivation. I never did write down that list of "Reasons I Want/Need to Change." I was just keeping the reasons alive in my head and I thought that was enough. But I really ought to write them down so that they're formalized, and so that they're available to me whenever they fall out of my head. Maybe keep them in several places... like a printout in my purse, and a note file on my iPhone, etc.
So I'm going to do that today. Will do it in a separate blog entry, though, so that it's easier for me to reference and find later when I need it.