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Struggles continue...

Thursday, May 02, 2013

To continue the theme of yesterday's blog...

One of my other struggles lately: disability related issues - mine, my kids' and friends.

Regarding mine more specifically, my parking permit - and others! Namely, a neighbor who appears to be fraudulently using his. The story details are in my previous blog entitled, "What To Do?"
One of the recent responses to that blog post suggested I learn the power of video! It's a great idea! She also suggests that I video multiple incidents and then give HIM a copy of these videos and see what his next actions are.
I'm intrigued enough to find a way to implement such a plan. Not sure how exactly b/c I don't see him do these things nearly as often as others do and then tell me about them. But I will collaborate with a few neighbors and we'll see if we can get others to do brief videos too. Neat little feature of many cell phones today. emoticon

As an update on this situation I share my response there, now here:
An interesting new development... today, at my daughter's place of employment the person in question came in with family for a meal. My daughter was the only one on register at the time - it wasn't yet a busy time. She had all sorts of "feelings" going on but kept herself professional. I'm so proud of her for that!

Two things stood out aside from the fact that this person is walking just fine.
1. He did some weird thing with his t-shirt that seemed to be an attempt to hide his face from her.
2. She was able to note that their car was parked in one of the farther spots in the parking lot, even tho there were many closer. (clearly not needing handicapped status)

And the car with the HC placard was still parked at home in the one HC spot closest to my apartment. It's closest to his too - I have to walk - now with 2 canes - past his every time.

And one other update: Management decided, after watching these guys switch cars to safe that HC spot for themselves, to put up one more HC spot in the parking lot. No other residents are complaining about that either. He told me several have complained about what these guys are doing. Some have also noted that I've been quite willing to seek out any spot to park so the older residents can go on using the spots closest to them. The new spot is where one resident is now able to see her car from her apartment - distance is the same for her. So I sorta got "her" spot which is closer to me than the new one. :)

In other disability related matters that I and others struggle with...

One of my girls has been struggling to find a job for over 3 years now. :( It's very disheartening! She wants to do it on her own ~ without my help. Yet she does have a few issues that may be costing her employment. She often shakes when writing so her applications tend to look messy. This is something caused by the effort required for her to write. Each movement must be thought about much more than it is more the average person. It's called Apraxia. For her, it affects every motion. Eventually the movements become less shaky, less jerky, less clumsy..........but that takes millions of repetitions, literally. She's also considered on the Autistic Spectrum being diagnosed with PDD-NOS as a preschooler. In addition she has multiple allergies; to food & environmental things too. What happens in her interviews, even with reminders to use some caution & tact; she is very honest. She tells them ALL her concerns about the activities of the job. She can at times say things that, while truthful, aren't really necessary, and thus upset the interviewer or give them the impression that she won't be able to do the job or won't stay long.

Some recent suggestions to help her - and us (in the long run the goal is to get her independent) - are having her apply for SSI; requesting a referral from the county to get her into DVR (dept of vocational rehab); or contacting some of the places, like Goodwill, that are known for hiring disabled persons and see if she can get on with them.

It's hard and thinking on it is time consuming. All of the above steps are directly acknowledging she is disabled and thus unable to completely be self-supporting. I fight this, but have accepted it for myself to the degree that it is what it is for now BUT in my case, I fully seek out ways to change that! I'm not exactly sure what is the best course for my daughter! How do I help her?

With a deep sigh... I'm signing off for now. This is a very emotional topic for me and it's now exhausted all mental energy!

May you have a sparkling day!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sounds like some good advice was given. See where it takes you.
    1785 days ago
    At a community college, she may qualify for taking classes so she can learn a new trade. That might give her the "on her own" feeling. My son is also considered to be autistic but he has fragile X. (I can further explain it to you if you want).

    When he was in high school, most of the colleges that were calling wanted him because they get paid by the state. There are 3 different teachers. All of them focus on a different topic and there aren't really any grades to keep up.

    They are given a job to do and they get paid by the employer. The school doesn't even take any of it. They also have outings where they are required to travel on a city bus, go to a different place, for example, lunch, a museum, or other place of interest and while there, they need to pay for themselves, interact with different people and then sum up what they learned from the experience.

    That could be something that you could look into. It may not be available everywhere, but hopefully it is in your area. Only if it interests your and your daughter of course.

    1785 days ago
    1786 days ago
    My heart goes out to you for all you have to deal with. Hopefully something will come up for your daughter.....aren't we all just looking forward to the paradise with all its beautiful offers of good health, enjoyable work, housing etc.
    1787 days ago
    Andee, give her all the support you can and definitely get her hooked up with SSI. Going through the steps will open the avenue of training her through organizations that train the disabled plus, they get a small wage along with it. emoticon to all.
    1787 days ago
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