Thursday, May 02, 2013
Yesterday was ok, got my exercise in but ended up going over on calorie. There are two problems in the calorie department.
1) I need to convince hubby that I don’t need to eat out 3 or 4 nights a week. Nor does he need to bring home food every time he goes out the door. Yesterday was tuna from Subway (YIKES) and Chinese food (still in the fridge).
2) I need to get over the idea beaten into my head that when someone gets you food you HAVE to eat it.
The second one should be easier but it is actually harder. I was in the “clean your plate club” because “kids in Ethiopia were starving”. Live Aid and the pictures from the drought really re-enforced that on a sub-conscience level. And if my dad took time out to actually BUY dinner, you stopped what you had going on, ate every last bite, and smiled while doing it. Sitting here typing this, I know all of this is an almost absurd concept, but then I go home and there’s the pizza, the subway, the Chinese, the Mexican and I’m 9 again. Clean your plate, Ethiopian kids are starving.
The first is even hard to combat because it’s not my hang up. He was brought up that a person doesn’t eat unless everyone can eat. Thus, if he wants take out (which is all the time), he has to get me take out. Even when I say I don’t want anything, he comes home with something.
I had this under control for a while, but then the cooking and the shopping fell back to the way they were pre-Spark during the holidays – i.e.. non-existent. It is SOO much easier to just grab something on the way home, but it’s never healthy. The portions are always too large and of course once it is in front of me “Clean your plate, Ethiopian kids are starving”.
So this is my demon to grapple for May. I’m not certain how or where to start but I WILL succeed. I have to, or I’m going to be naked.
Why? Well, as of yesterday, there is no one piece of woman’s clothes in the house larger than a size 6. 95% of the shirts are smalls and only a very FEW select mediums that are shrunk or comfy baggy made the cut. I decided that hanging onto things in larger sizes was inviting myself to give up and fail. So, last night, Evil cherub went home with 4 garbage bags of clothes. Even favorites, it was an “everything must go” event! I’m never going back. I know that in my heart (I just have to convince my stomach!). I really like who I’ve become. And it is really cool because I’m still growing, changing and evolving. Life is a new adventure and I’m ready for it.