Thursday, May 02, 2013
I don't know if I've mentioned my anxiety disorder before, but...well, I have an anxiety disorder. I get panic attacks and sometimes I just shut down and weep. Target used to make me feel that way--I'd been off the 'as-needed' meds for a couple years, and working there was so stressful, I had to see a doctor and have her prescribe more. A very low, take-the-edge-off dosage, but still... and there were nights I required two to get calmed down. It gets bad sometimes.
Now, obviously, it's been a bit of a process, learning to deal with this...what helps, what hurts, what I should and should not do, etc. I'm still trying to avoid the meds--with the history of addiction in my family, I'm not even starting a walk down that road!! So, I've been trying to avoid caffeine (if you know me, you know how incredibly difficult that is...as a night owl with a day job, it's not always pretty...), de-stress (free massages at the massage school down the street once a week are definitely helping), and -above all- watch my temper. Bf complained of some serious temper flares of late (past few weeks), and that's not generally me...I mean, I have a temper, but I'm not a witch like he was describing. I'm usually the non-confrontational cry-in-my-room type, lol
I'm also an emotional eater...so this is just a freakin' battle right now.
I'm doing my best to stay calm and focused, to make lists and get organized so I can feel more in control...that always helps. :-)
Last night's lasagna rolls didn't happen, but that's alright...I spent time with my friend, spent time with the bf, and went to bed an hour earlier than usual. Well...admittedly, I wasn't in bed. I passed out on the couch, woke up, THEN went to bed. LOL
Tonight I'm baking for Relay for Life, so I'll knock out the lasagna rolls, too.
I had a few extra minutes this morning and felt productive, so I got the dishes out of the way...at least I won't have that to deal with when I get home!! :-)
Gotta do some other cleaning, though, and bike. I will bike tonight. I don't care who says what. Boom.