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Life Got in the Way of Taking Care of Me---It's time for that again

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

2012
Last year was a crazy year for me & my family.

January - our grandson was getting into a lot of trouble & was sent off to a boot camp type school for as long as they deemed he needed to be there. It was tough but we knew it needed to be done before it was to late.

February - my daughter & her husband came to tell us we would became grandparents -she was pregnant with her first child. What a wonderful surprise!!

March thru July - March 31- my mom had to take the helocopter & be life flighted to the city and spent 4 months in the hospital & 1 month in rehab. She was in bad shape & the medicine made her, lets just say a little off mentally. I stayed in the city only coming home on weekends while she was in the hospital. My weekends were filled up with all the weeks stuff from work, laundry & making sure my husband was taken care of for the week. While mom was in the hospital the only thing I made sure I was getting in my 10,000 steps a day. I didn't eat right unless my husband or sister came & stayed with me for the night. There just wasn't enough time in the day for me as I was at the hospital from 8 am til 8 pm. I'd grab something from the cafeteria & head back to the room for the night. When she finally got into rehab I started coming home & just going to visit twice a week. My sister would go with me on Saturdays & we got in some really good sister bonding days.

August- knowing how much stress I'd been in all year, my husband decided to go to the heart doctor & have some tests done without telling me. Well he flunked his stress test & they set up a time to do an angiogram the next week, mind you I still knew nothing about this. He devised this plan that he was going to go down & see one of his friends in Texas for a few days. Thinking that he could have the artery cleaned out & be back home in a few days & then tell me. That way I wouldn't be under any more stress, nice thought-right. Well they went in & came back out, sent him directly to the hospital. Seems he needed heart surgery immediately, he had the widow maker valve that needed repaired or he had maybe two weeks to live if he was lucky. I had just spent the day in the city with my mom & drove home late that evening when he called me. First thing he said to me was "I'm sorry I've lied to you", then his reasoning about how it'd all be done before I knew it. But now it was a different story, he would have heart surgery the next day. Now mind you I was one pissed woman that he didn't tell me to start with but that I had been in the city all day & didn't know he was there having tests run, let's just say I was ticked off!! So back to the city I went & hubby had a quadruple bypass surgery done the next day. We were lucky he'd taken the steps to get checked out & I would be able to tease him that as soon as he got well I was gonna kick his ass for not telling me he was having trouble!

Sept - Now it was getting really close to my daughters due date which was Sept. 6th & hubby still wasn't released to travel or drive, his doctors appointment was for that day. I was a wreck, my mom was coming home from rehab any day & I kept telling my daughter that the baby had to wait until I got there, even if I had to drive the whole way. But praise God Doc said he could travel by plane but he still shouldn't drive yet. My sister said she'd take time off from work & stay with mom while home health care got situated! WooHoo I booked the flight & we got there & waited & waited for this lil guy to come. By Sept 13th her doctor said she would induce the next day. Well that night her water broke & we all loaded up & headed to the hospital early the next morning. It seems that lil guy didn't want to come out, after all he was comfortable where he was at. They finally had to do a C-section on her & my grandson was born a day later, officially on my birthday! Now how can you ever top a birthday gift like that!!

October my older grandson got to come home & he was back to being that fun loving kid once again. He loved life & everyone in it & was making plans for his future.

Nov-Dec - The rest of the year went smoothly & we enjoyed the best Christmas as we were blessed with a healthy & healed family as a whole!!

2013

This year something happened that only God knows the reasoning for. Our oldest grandson was in a car with his friends when it wrecked & killed all 5 kids, all teenagers with a whole life ahead of them. And although our hearts are broken we are so happy that he'd come back from camp and was finally truly happy with his life. It still doesn't seem real & I battle with the emotions of it all.

My good friend -ICANDOIT- has helped me so much during this journey & has given me the best advice I could have gotten. We have been on this trip together a long time & I don't know what I'd do with out her --- she has been my hero & life saver, many-many times!

So here I sit starting my own life back over & doing my best to take care of me once again.

My last blog was June 2011 & my weight was down to 154.

So my next blog will be the plan I have once again started back doing, the one that got me to the place I want to be again. I started back on April 28th but will consider it my May plans & goals.
I hope you join me in the journey.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAKER1009 5/3/2013 4:38PM

    Oh Pam, you've brought tears to my eyes. My heart ached for you so much last year knowing everything going on with your hubby and your mom. I remember being so excited for you when you told us about your grandsons birth! And then this years tragedy with your older grandson. Events like that are just so hard to understand. I am glad, though, that he was able to be happy with life and with his family.

We (our team) keep saying this year is our year, and I truly believe that. Supporting you 110%! I am so happy to see you back with us full-time! And I'm so glad you have such a wonderful support system.

Big Hugs!!
Beth

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CHANGINGELAINE 5/3/2013 3:37PM

    Your past year sounds similar to my 2011. I am so happy to see you back and taking care of you. It is so easy to look after everyone else and forget about ourselves.
Let's have a GREAT 2013!!


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-ICANDOIT- 5/2/2013 3:28PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

I just love you...and wanted to start there.
This blog made me cry.
I know we have been together on this long and bumpy road through so many different things...but seeing it all in a few paragraphs, all that you have gone through, and knowing how you have felt....is just so emotional. You have really gone through the range of what many people experience in an entire lifetime in just a few months- sickness, stress, healing, regaining strength, birth, growth, sorrow and then death. Through it all, you have been so strong- and so filled with faith. I know how important your faith is to you, and I believe it was what kept you walking forward when you felt you couldn't. The poem "Footprints in the Sand" is one of my favorites, because we all face times when we need to be carried. I am glad you let Jesus carry you when your load was unbearable.
You have been an angel in my life. You have helped me in more ways than you will ever really know. Your friendship is a treasure and I love you!
You can never put everything behind you, because some of the things you have gone through will never really go away. But, they will make you stronger and help you face whatever else it is God has in store for you! You have had so much in your life. I am happy that you are able to take a breath, steady yourself, and start to put yourself back on the list.
These past months are a reminder of how much love you have in your life- how many special people who need you, care about you and depend on you. You even have an angel who is checking your pedometer to see if you are getting your steps in! You matter to so many people- and now it is a good time to make yourself matter by doing what you need to do to be healthier.
You are a blessing, and now it is your time to be completely blessed.
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MORTICIAADDAMS 5/1/2013 9:03PM

    I am so sorry for everything you have been through. It sounds like a nightmare. I especially was sorry to hear about your grandson. I hope that the rest of this year is calm and a time of healing for you and your family.

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UNICORN212 5/1/2013 8:25PM

    And I hope your DH learned his lesson and he will never do anything like that again! Did you make him scrub toilets for 6 months?

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UNICORN212 5/1/2013 8:23PM

    You have had a crazy 16 months - I am glad you came through it all without going off the deep end. Anything we can do to help you get back on track to taking care of yourself, let us know.

And yes, -ICANDOIT- is an awesome lady!
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TIME4MJ 5/1/2013 6:17PM

    Praying for your success and for peace in your heart.

MJ

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