Wednesday, May 01, 2013
Arenít our bodies amazing things? Even though we have brains, the body still has a little mind of its own.
I woke up yesterday feeling really exhausted. It was another rainy day, so I figured that was wearing me down. I actually talked myself out of bed by saying I could take a quick snooze before heading out to work, but only after I got ready. I should have known something was up when I cried listening to Macklemoreís ďSame LoveĒ on the radio (I mean... my brain started going down this whole ďoh my god, there are so many people in this world who are afraid to be themselves and that is really sad!Ē path). Low and behold (Gentleman, stop reading here) I get TOM.
Now, I take continuous medication to NOT get TOM, because it wrecks me. Just all over, mentally, physically, BAD NEWS. My body somehow yesterday was like ďGuess what, you need to go through this process RIGHT FREAKING NOW!Ē I ended up having to work through lunch (aka gym time) and work late, so by the time I got home I just wanted to shove my head in a bag of chips and call it a night. But I forced myself away from the kitchen and I sat down with a blanket instead. And by lay down I mean curl up in a ball. Anyways, boyfriend came home and suggested wing night and I had nothing left to give. I ate 6 wings and had a gluten free beer (booya!) and didnít give a hoot. I tracked it this morning and I actually stayed within my range, whatever that means when you just have six fried wings for dinner? But I got to have my meltdown and not really wreck myself at the same time. Small miracles!
ANYWAYS Ė Today is GORGEOUS outside so I laced up my shoes and went for a walk at lunch. I made myself go A LOT longer than my brain wanted to go. Hey body, hush your mouth, weíre going for a long walk and thatís that! I even think I may go for another one after work! BF wants to Wog but let me be realistic with myself now and set some expectations based on the fact that my stomach is abnormal and Iím on TOM at the moment. I think just walking is better than me staying inside and eating whatever I can get my hands on. Donít you?!
I also made some progress today on the teenage sister marriage front. She sent me a long, rather mature email asking me to be her MOH and why. She acknowledged that she knows I donít agree with it but asked for my support. I think Iím going to take her for dinner or coffee in the near future to hash it out. Iím glad she reached out like this and it made me feel slightly better about the whole mess, even if I still donít agree with it (as she so nicely pointed out).
I was planning on weighing myself this week, but now Iím not so sure with TOM if that is a good idea. Us women and our bodiesÖ blah!
I also made an effort to go gluten free today. I got romaine hearts and used them as ďbreadĒ for my feta/tomato/olive/cucumber sandwiches. I expected them to fall apart and be an absolute mess but it actually went really well and I did NOT miss the bread! Iím the kind of person who already tends to pick the ďexcessĒ bread off of a sandwich, so Iím thinking it wonít be so hard for me to go green instead. I had lentil crisps and an all natural fruit snack and it was a pretty darn good lunch if I may say so myself. I donít feel any different, but I am on TOM and that means I feel all kinds of crazy. Point being Ė I have gone without gluten so far today and I donít feel like Iím dying from the lack of bread. Yay?
Anyways, Iím trying to wrap up here so I can GET OUTSIDE. Seriously. It is gorgeous. If it is this nice where you are, like 70 degrees and not a cloud in the sky, get off your computer right now and GO. OUT. SIDE.