Turning insecurity into determination.
Wednesday, May 01, 2013
I got this picture in the mail this afternoon inside of a thank you card from my in laws baby shower a few weeks ago. When I attended I had about a two pound weight loss and hadn't started hitting the weights as hard as I've been. But I felt good, I had a cute summery dress on
(I live in Florida) and nice sandals to match. When I got there I met the guest of honor's twin sister..my mouth nearly dropped open. She was beautiful! One of "those" women who we all know. Stunning from head to toe and beautifully trim and slender. To make matters worse my sister in law was gushing over how skinny the beautiful twin got since the last time they saw her.
The Beautiful Twin is the type of woman who always brings out the low self esteem issues in me.
The "I'm fat and dumpy and there is something wrong with every part of my body" person. Have you ever encountered that person in yourself?
Well, as I silently was in awe of her for most of the day, when I got home I vowed to myself to focus on my weight loss to achieve the results I wanted..with the beautiful twin as my inspiration and motivation for the next time we bumped into one another. How silly is it that? I am competing with her in my head and she doesn't even know it!!! Bahahahaha.. I am soooooooo stupid!!
So.... I get this picture that we all took and dead center is the beautiful twin... big white smile, bright mango colored peachy tropical dress that shows off her perfectly tanned thin arms and thin legs. Grrrrrrrr. I look to the side and see me.... and instead of feeling sick, I put the picture in my weight log book for motivation! that way when I am at the gym I can pull it out as a reminder to push through the difficulties and more importantly to be the BEST ME I CAN BE!!!!!
lift harder I will
eat as clean as I can to build lean muscle!
Insecurities have plagued me for most part of my adult life, I was never as skinny as I could be, I was too tall, my hair never looked right, butt is too big, my tummy is too fat, my boobs are too small. I did get over some of these insecurities, but always wanting to be thinner, and never being able to overcome that challenge has made me feel more determined to do so now!