Wednesday, May 01, 2013
I have been sidelined for a few months again. It is a pattern that is making me weary. I will be doing well, losing weight, staying focused and feeling good and then BAM an injury or illness will knock me down hard.
This time it was a knee injury. I know that I have issues with my knees and when they begin to complain I ease back in an attempt to let them heal. So I had been going through the knee issues but thought I was managing. I was going to they gym regularly and since my knees were complaining on a particular day, I got off the treadmill and got on the bike for a bit. I continued to have increased pain so I left the gym. Later that evening I was just walking and POP; my knee popped out of alignment. This is not a pain I can describe. Those who have runner's knee or something like that can relate. I can hear it and feel it and in the second I swear everything in my vision goes white like a sheet. I'm not prone to cussing as I prefer not to but I'm pretty sure what I said would not have been okay for me to say in front of my mom. :-)
That was the beginning of about 3-4 months of pain, aggravation, and weight gain. I lost all the progress I had made up to this point. I didn't intend it but sliding backwards happens so much faster and easier than moving forward.
I dug myself out of the mental hell of it all in April but have been unable to do hardly anything physical until the past week. My doc wants me to have more x -rays and meet with an ortho. I am thankful for doctors but it seems like they see more of my check than I do. And the list of pills and potions just gets longer and longer. I know that truth and the truth is that the majority of my health issues are due to obesity. And everything I'm taking is just treating a symptom. The cure is for me to lose weight and recover my health.
Watching my ticker show zero weight loss is quite unsettling.
For the past month I've been doing the best I can with diet and have begun to lose some of the weight. I've been doing a little walking and stretching. But I've only been lurking on SP, watching the game of life from the sidelines. Feeling very much like the 3rd string player wondering if I will ever get to play. I made a decision last night that I would get back in the game today. I set a plan for my eating today and my first targeted workout. Yes, I will protect the knees and work towards strengthening the muscles in my legs that keep everything held in place, but ultimately the best thing for life and my knee is to get the weight off in a healthy way and that includes moving to the best that I'm able. Ready or not world....I'm back in the game.
PS. I did 13 mins of a workout tape this morning. I didn't win the game, but I did play.