Feeling fairly content with life
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
My life for the past year has essentially been one emotional upheaval after another. While the events aren't all settled out yet, I am feeling much better about things. In the past 4 months I've had to learn and do things that I never thought I'd have to ever even try. This morning I learned how to take apart the hood fan for our 6 ring burner commercial grade gas cook top so I could clean it.
I'm excited about the little moments now and am grateful that I have the ingenuity to figure things out on my own. Things that have always seemed daunting now seem like meetable challenges that I'm willing to try.
I know there are going to be a lot of challenges ahead, but now I feel better equipped to deal with them than every before, and I'm more willing to tackle new things with a good attitude. I've also learned that unless you go into a new situation with the attitude that it can be done, it probably won't happen. I'm ready for what comes next and I'm excited to see what it could be. I have more challenges ahead of me in the coming weeks and months, but given all the things I've accomplished since December, I know that what's coming up will be okay. It might take a little while and there might be a learning curve, but I can do it.
I've never had that feeling before. For a long time I let someone tell me that nothing I did was good enough, that it didn't matter how hard I tried, that I was still wrong. So I stopped trying. Why bother trying when it's going to be wrong anyway? But now I see that that person was projecting their insecurities onto me to boost themselves up and I recognize how capable and competent I really am. I apologize if that sounds arrogant, but it's a new feeling for me, and I'm working hard to make things the way I want them to be now.