Tuesday, April 30, 2013
My life for the past year has essentially been one emotional upheaval after another. While the events aren't all settled out yet, I am feeling much better about things. In the past 4 months I've had to learn and do things that I never thought I'd have to ever even try. This morning I learned how to take apart the hood fan for our 6 ring burner commercial grade gas cook top so I could clean it.
I'm excited about the little moments now and am grateful that I have the ingenuity to figure things out on my own. Things that have always seemed daunting now seem like meetable challenges that I'm willing to try.
I know there are going to be a lot of challenges ahead, but now I feel better equipped to deal with them than every before, and I'm more willing to tackle new things with a good attitude. I've also learned that unless you go into a new situation with the attitude that it can be done, it probably won't happen. I'm ready for what comes next and I'm excited to see what it could be. I have more challenges ahead of me in the coming weeks and months, but given all the things I've accomplished since December, I know that what's coming up will be okay. It might take a little while and there might be a learning curve, but I can do it.
I've never had that feeling before. For a long time I let someone tell me that nothing I did was good enough, that it didn't matter how hard I tried, that I was still wrong. So I stopped trying. Why bother trying when it's going to be wrong anyway? But now I see that that person was projecting their insecurities onto me to boost themselves up and I recognize how capable and competent I really am. I apologize if that sounds arrogant, but it's a new feeling for me, and I'm working hard to make things the way I want them to be now.