Tuesday, April 30, 2013
If you didn't read my last blog entry, "Vacation!," let me bring you up to speed. After realizing that my obsession with that pesky number on the scale was, perhaps, a tad unhealthy, I decided that my scale and I needed a separation so that I can focus on all of my non-scale victories. Despite being stronger and in better shape than I've been in years, despite the reduction in my Multiple Sclerosis-related muscles spasms and cramping, despite fitting into clothes 2-3 sizes smaller than those I was wearing just a few short months ago, I was still fixated on that number. And in my number-on-the-scale-obsessed-m
ind, that number just wasn't moving quickly enough. Forget that I've been building an incredible amount of muscle, movement of that number seemed interminable.
I hope that this separation anxiety reduces soon because I will tell you, it has not been easy. For someone who has stepped on the scale 3-4 times/day for longer than I want to admit, it's been extremely difficult to stay away.
Last night I made it easier on myself: I threw away the scale. As in, walked it to the dumpster and tossed it (in a garbage bag, of course, so that I wouldn't break the city's unbagged trash law). It was hard to walk away from the dumpster, and luckily for me, it was mostly empty so takey-backseys were not possible. You see, I'm an extremely short woman (5'-nothing on a "tall day") with short arms, so there was no way I could reach it, barring actually climbing in the dumpster. Ewww.
Before you harp on me about throwing away perfectly good equipment and wasting money, etc, I should explain that the scale was old. It made it through my ups and downs with two of my three pregnancies, it held me at my heaviest weight of 198 pounds, and it showed me a lower number than I'd seen in almost a decade--160 pounds. We had good times and we had bad times, but it was old and not an especially pricey or fancy model.
The main reason I decided it would be okay toss it because I was no longer sure of its accuracy and have considered replacing it for a while. If it had been even remotely new, I would have just had my husband hide it. I figured that if I was going to replace my scale, doing it after a month of no weigh-ins would be good because then I won't be disappointed with the higher number that would mostly likely appear if I weighed myself on the old and new side-by-side. If, after a month, that number is higher than the 160 that last flashed at me on my old scale, I will be disappointed; however, my scale vacation does not also mean a vacation from healthy living.
Well, old frienemy, we had a lot of good (and bad)days, months, and years, but it was time to say good-bye. At least we are parting on good terms, since your last message was the best you'd given in years. Come June 1st, I hope the next generation has something good to say, too.