Tuesday, April 30, 2013
After I hit my peak weight in August 2007, I made changes to my diet and took a pilates class at school. In a semester I dropped about 15 pounds, where I plateaued until 2009 when I took off the remaining 35 pounds. During that plateau I convinced myself that this was all the weight I could lose, that my body was meant to be in the 170s, whether I liked it or not.
Fast forward to April 2013, where I've been fluctuating around 150-155 for the better part of a year, reaching as high as 157 and as low as 147, but still outside my maintenance range of 139-144 and my goal of getting under 139. I trained for two triathlons, a half, and a full marathon last year without dropping under 150. Despite my generally healthy eating habits and regular exercise, my body is holding onto the pounds my brain is trying to take off. Maybe I'm meant to be at this weight instead of my goal.
That's what I tell myself, but I know it's not true. I'm using my triathlon training as an excuse to indulge my sweet tooth, even on rest days. Even though I've done the hard work before, and 15 pounds is not 50, I don't want to push myself out of my comfort zone again, even temporarily to get to my goal weight. Since my overall habits are healthier than they were four years ago, I know the weight isn't going to slide off overnight, but I have to be honest with myself, track my food and workouts accurately, and make the good decisions I know I can make, but don't want to do because it's "not so bad" being "only" 15 pounds above the goal I worked so hard to achieve once before. I'm very aware of my tendencies and weaknesses, now I just have to make my resistance stronger.