Tuesday, April 30, 2013
This is a rant...and a bit of a pity party. But the bottom line is I really just need to get this out:
Well...the last entry where I'd lost 8 lbs was a fluke, I guess. I gained it right back the next week--eating the same things and exercising the same if not more.
...And now for about a month, maybe more--no progress yet again.
And I've really been trying. I have had a couple of days where I just get sick of it and give up. But the next day I feel bad and go right back to it.
I don't understand and It's really starting to depress me. I can't wear any of my clothes...I hate looking in the mirror. I can't tell you how many times I've broke down in tears about all this in the last month. I don't want my picture taken. I don't want my husband to have to come back and see me like this.
And the most frustrating thing is I'm actually TRYING. I don't know how to try any harder. I literally eat fruit, vegetables, meat and a little dairy most of the week. A sandwich MAYBE twice a week and only at breakfast. 30 minutes at least of cardio 3 times or more a week and I'm pushing myself. I've also gone so far as to get off my depression medication (with dr. supervision) because he suggested that's what's keeping my weight at this terrible plateau.
I don't know what to do. This is the worst time I've ever had with my weight. I've never NOT lost weight when I've actually tried....I'm at a complete loss and not only concerned but angry and sad. I feel like I've tried everything, literally everything minus starving myself which...i know isn't right.
This sucks. More than I can even put into words.