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It's Been a While--Kind of a long post

Monday, April 29, 2013

Looking back I see that my last blog was over a month ago. My how time flies. Right ofter the last blog I had my 3 month check with my doctor for my diabetes. She just about cried she was so happy with my progress. I was proud and I bragged about every little thing I thought was significant. She and I just talked and celebrated for the whole appointment. I left feeling lighter than air.

In three months I had gone from an A1C of 11.7 to 6.3 anything under 6 is normal. I had also managed to lose 2 pounds despite being on insulin which they told me would add 10-15 pounds overnight. My triglycerides dropped 350 points, my total cholesterol came down about 60 points. She told me I was the superstar of the month for all her patients. She wished I could talk to all her diabetic patients about what I did and how small changes really add up. She even told me that she usually sees patients back in 3 months, but because I was doing so well, she didn't want to see me for 6 months As I was leaving, the doctor noticed I had an appointment with the dietician. She said "If they don't give you credit for the hard work you have done, you call me right away".

Needless to say, I saw my 6th different dietician in that department (I am told this is unusual because supposedly once you get assigned to one, you are theirs for life) and she wasn't impressed with my improvements. She went on for 30 minutes lecturing me about how I will lose my feet and my vision and there is nothing I can do about it. Diabetes will kill me, I may as well know what is coming. I was able to tune her out and I left sort of laughing because it was so ridiculous.

I really didn't think that the dietician got to me, but apparently she did. I slacked off on my good eating, didn't test my glucose and over the next three weeks to a month I gained 10 pounds. Since then I feel like I have given up. I know I can do better than this. I know I want to do better than this. That dietician should not have this much power over what I think of myself. I keep self-sabotaging myself. I even had a girl's night out and drank more than I ever do. (Three drinks that night as opposed to the one I sometimes have). I even ended up buzz -dialing, I really can't call it drunk-dialing, a former boss and quasi friend. Crazy!!! Nothing embarrassing happened. Thank God!

Today I had a great eating day, I even went out to dinner and stayed within my calorie range, but on the way home I stopped at a gas station because I NEEDED gummy bears. I don't even like them that much, but I knew I had to have them and I am sitting here blogging and blowing my eating day eating gummy bears. (Biting their heads off first, of course, LOL!)

How do I break through? How do I get back to the feeling of power and confidence I had just a few weeks ago? I hope I am not sounding whiny. I am just so frustrated at doing the same things over and over again and not being able to figure out the key to getting everything together. I'll go now and try to get those dang gummy bears off my teeth. Thanks for listening.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Well, I would put a complaint about that dietician!
    They are supposed to work with you, not against you!

    Just go back to basics and focus on the positive,small things you did when you were so proud.
    Take it one day at a time and in no time you will be back on a roll!
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    1626 days ago
    Linda, a big congrats to you on the wonderful results from the Dr. Your fate is NOT doomed. I hope you don't go back to that dietician. There's enough negative nellies in the world without paying money to see one. Since I had a backslide in April, I'm back to focusing on the small steps again. Now let's have a wonderful May and blossom in our great healthy bodies.
    1631 days ago
    AArrgghhh! The disconnects in our healthcare system make me want to scream sometimes! First, KUDOS on your amazing progress! And kudos to your doc for celebrating with you--what an important things for her to do. That dietician, of course it affected you--you're human. But knowing you need to carry your strength forward is key. You did it, you have the wisdom--use it! You so have this.
    1633 days ago
  • JANET552
    I hope you tell your doctor about that dietician. You've let her have too much control though. You are the one who succeeded and you can do it again. Start by thinking about that doctor appointment and all the things you talked about. Post those test results. Test your blood sugar and plan your meals. You did it before, you can do it again. Start now.
    1633 days ago
    You say the dietician shouldn't have had this much power over your feelings but that is just exactly what someone else's words can do.

    First off....I want to say that what you did initially and the responce your Dr. gave you is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!! And you know you CAN do it!

    So, here's the thing. Take those words your Dr. had for you and take them along with those fantastic lab results. Print them up in bold print and put them somewhere they will be visible to you every day. Affirm that YOU are the reason you had those results. And it know you can. Put that dietician in the forget about it category...( I do hope you told your Dr about her though).

    1633 days ago
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