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Extra health care aides is approaching ending...now what?

Monday, April 29, 2013

Lots of professionals have been coming and going here for the past few weeks. This will soon end since Medicare won't continue paying for 'maintenance' care. emoticon

So, soon I will be back to having an aide for a little over an hour 6 times a week and Saturday evening.

The nurse who visits has been saying I need more help continuing after this. I heartily agree! She suggested finding aides who work independently-not with an agency. She is right. I hope I can find such a person or people.

Also she told my husband he needs to go to a nearby adult day program for at least one day a week. He agreed to do this.

After 7 years of caring for him (6 years of that while working full time), I am again approaching burn out. I am having a hard time making simple decisions and sleeping too much in the daytime. Not good signs.

Chris
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALIHIKES 5/1/2013 11:52AM

    I am so sorry you are losing the extra health aide hours. My mom did hire someone to help her after her surgery; she found a very good aide through recommendations from friends. Many of the health aides have had their hours cut due to the budget cuts, so some may be looking to pick up private jobs to supplement their income.

Finally I am glad your DH is going to adult day program, I think it will be very good for you -- and for him. It is great to expand his social network, and he may enjoy it enough to go more regularly.

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JILL313 4/30/2013 10:15PM

    Hi Chris, I am so sorry that Medicare won't pay for continued daily help as it's obviously he and you both need that help. I'm glad your DH has agreed to go once a week to a Day Program and hopefully once he goes there for awhile he will agree to going more days a week. Most of those programss here are M-F either from 9-4pm or a half day. I feel for you as I know it is a hard and stressful job to be a full time caretaker. I would appeal Medicare's decision and if need to get a law student or friend to go with you to a hearing if they request one. God Bless You both. I will keep you in my prayers. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KATHARINEBRAY 4/30/2013 9:19PM

    I know how you feel chris , twice I have been where you have been .
you can feel so alone . I suggest you keep on getting out as much as possible
believe the Lord is working on it . Have you seeked out veterans , if he was a vet.

may be a young person to come over and do things for low wages , in order
that your energy goes towards your husband . like cook or clean house .
i have paid 25 dollars for a girl to help me clean . think out side the Box or norm if you can . The Lord will make a way

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FITMARY 4/30/2013 5:06PM

    I am so sorry you are having to deal with all this stress. It is very good that he has agreed to the adult day care though! That might mean a bit of a break for you. If it does work out, maybe you can spend the extra time on some self-care? I hope so because you clearly need and deserve it!
emoticon

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123ELAINE456 4/30/2013 11:35AM

  Hope that You will be able to find help through Agencys, Churches, etc. It would be ideal if Your Husband would go to the Day Care Center 3 times a week. Like Mon., Weds., and Fri. That would be a big help to You. You are doing an Excellent Job. Hope that You get the help You need too. God Blessings to You and Everyone. Have a Great Day. Take Care. Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!

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LISBETHSALANDER 4/30/2013 10:43AM

    Take care. We all are hoping for the best you and your husband.

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IAMWINNING 4/30/2013 9:06AM

    I'm glad, Chris, that your husband has agreed to go to the Adult Day care center, even just one day a week. That will almost assuredly benefit both you and your husband. I'm praying for you, that God will continue to sustain you as He has promised; and that He will lead you to those who will help you, without it costing a lot. emoticon

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IKACEY 4/30/2013 2:03AM

    A care giver has to be careful to make sure they inflow some self care and time for themselves to avoid burnout. Otherwise its like driving a car and never giving it gas. Sooner or later it will not be able to go anymore. The same with caregivers you must inflow some care for you to outflow that care to others. I know you are exhausted and it is so much to think about to get the help you need, but this is a necessity before its too late. Check with the Dept of Health the Dept of Human Services and any local community care centers you may have. They may know of solutions and help you weren't aware of. My social worker from a community help agency is seeing about getting in a housekeeper or home health aide for us because it is too much strain on DH to do all the necessary caregiving he does and do the chores as well. They know of many programs that will help with that sort of thing. We may have to pay for the housekeeping but it will be as a greatly reduced amount we can manage on our SS. Don't give up on this! emoticon emoticon
IKacey co-leader of the Chair Exercise Team

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LIVE_AMAZINGLY 4/29/2013 11:23PM

    It's sad the cuts that are happening in Medicare. And infuriating too. People have worked their whole lives and when they need this help, it disappears!

I do hope you find a way to get the help you need. Wishing you the best!
emoticon for the help you need.

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1STATEOFDENIAL 4/29/2013 10:59PM

    Keep looking for and asking for help. Hopefully you'll figure it out soon. Maybe getting him into an adult day program will be helpful in many ways, including having new people to ask questions to.

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SEATTLE58 4/29/2013 10:34PM

    emoticon to you, my dear friend. I hope that all is on the up and up for you soon. emoticon

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NASFKAB 4/29/2013 10:16PM

  hope you get the help you need

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NANCYPAT1 4/29/2013 10:06PM

    Chris, you are in a challenging situation. I did my thesis on Caring for the Caregivers - stress from caregiving can kill people who don't get some respite. I almost lost my stepmother while she was caring for my father and I worried that she would suffer burnout. Just before he became bedridden, I persuaded her to join the fitness center and go swimming at least one or 2 days a week to relax. My son and her grandson both helped out watching my father so she could go. It really helped to CARE for her. I always keep you in my prayers. (HUGS) You are a true HERO

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FROSTY99 4/29/2013 9:43PM

    Chris I really do know how hard it is and how easy it is to burn out. I am glad to hear DH has agreed to go to daycare at least one day a week. Hopefully it will not be too expensive.
I am praying you can find someone to help that won't be too terribly expensive so you can afford more hours of help and get away.
emoticon

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SANDRALEET 4/29/2013 7:35PM

    Things can get to hard to handle at times We all now that the time will come when they have to go to a care home Hope we are not the first to go

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TLG71567 4/29/2013 6:50PM

    That's a shame. I am sorry that you are going through this. It is hard when you have to be the caregiver for someone who you love. It puts such a strain on you and on your relationship. I hope you can find someone to help you. Best of luck to you.

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