Monday, April 29, 2013
First, because I'm on hold and listening to cheesy muzack wait music that fades out to nothing, then comes back in and gets loud, then tapers out again... quite annoying! Every time I think I might get to talk to someone - nope! Ha! It's a trick! Ah, well.
But second, I've been muddling over something since I had a conversation on Saturday. A friend of mine was saying "oh, I'm going to get in shape by 2014 so that I can do X.". I have known this friend for years, and I have heard the "I'm going to get in shape" line repeatedly. My friend knows they* have health concerns - their weight makes it harder on their joints, less stamina, all that stuff. But I remember sitting at dinner with this friend a couple of years ago, and they had just said, "I'm going to lose weight," then dumped two sides of ranch dressing on their little salad. *sigh* At the time, I said something like, "you know, you can make a big difference with little changes." My friend's response was something like "I know, I'm going to cut back on soda" (as they had one with dinner).
I'm trying to decide if I'm so annoyed at my friend because I've heard this line so many times and yet seen no action to back it up, or if I'm secretly annoyed at myself and directing it at my friend - because I'm pretty much doing the same thing. Only for me it's "I'm going to stop eating so much junk food and get back to more regular exercise.." I may be more fit than this friend... but so what? Their choices are their choices, and mine are mine. We each have to live with the consequences of our choices. And I am also annoyed at myself because I am being judgmental and unfair. I don't live my friend's life and I don't know what's going on in their brain. I have expressed support and tried to make non-pushy suggestions, and that's as far as I think I should go. But aside from the fact that I'm tired of hearing a line that I no longer believe, the only reason I can think of that I'm so annoyed by them is that I'm really annoyed at me.
I need to stop with the "I am going to" and just DO IT. Today I have had no junk food. Granted, my lunch choice could have been slightly better, but it was the proper portion size, and included two helpings of veggies. My afternoon snack is yogurt (not the lite stuff because those have weird after-tastes). I'm going home half an hour early (took a short lunch) so I can walk with my running buddy. Baby steps. But I need to remind myself to keep turning "going to" into "am doing". Maybe I can use my frustration at my friend for my own good.
*poor grammar plural pronoun being used here to protect my friend. :)