Monday, April 29, 2013
Today marks one year from when my Dad passed away. My sister visited this past weekend and we had a family dinner last night. My sister is getting married in June and for her stagette in about three weeks, us girls are going to a mountain town for a spa day and a night out. The chosen theme was 90s prom, so straight to the original 90210. I haven't gotten my outfit together yet but sis had the brilliant idea of going through some of mom's old closets. She had a dress in mind, that she found, and we kept searching. After dinner she brought up another option for me to try. I put it on over my clothes and although we tried, the back just wouldn't zip up (my ribcage has always been broad). Sister dearest also tried the dress on and, likewise, the zipper wouldn't meet to zip up. My mother started going on about how much thinner she was than we are and how she didn't feel small at the time and what was going on that daughters were so much bigger than their mothers... a lovely smack in the face, yes? My sister actually spoke before I did and was like, Mother, what are you trying to say? I suggested my mom try the dress on and she said, oh no, it definitely wouldn't zip up for her now! Yes, I'm sure we all know what my mom meant and she did not mean anything malicious, she is just so good at making those comments that are indirectly rather mean. Sister dearest and I talked more about it today, it's funny because our mom has been a practitioner of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) so she should be more aware of the impact her words are having. A side note, growing up my sister was always skinny but she had a bit of a gain after she quit smoking years ago and has since adopted a healthy lifestyle and is slim and fabulous. It weirds me out sometimes that we're about the same size, though I still have more in my hips and thighs than she does, and I'm shorter. It all works out! Now, earlier in the night I had been talking to my Auntie who was telling me not to lose any more weight because my neck looks too thin. I haven't lost any weight recently, I've been about the same for the past year! I've also never heard that comment, a neck looking too thin... My Grandma also told me about 2 weeks ago that I was looking great and didn't need to lose any more weight, again, I hadn't lost any weight! I'm feeling pretty good, although having moments where my stress is through the roof... and this morning my sister and I went to yoga (I love starting my week with this one yoga class, it's just perfect) and, like always, in poses like extended side angle I have a pinch of flesh in my hip, lower stomach area and that is just how it is right now. I'll see about firming up in the next few months, but this stress will be with me until about the end of June so my priority is to be good to myself and not give myself more reason to stress! After yoga we went shopping and I finally have my bridesmaid dress for her wedding. On the store website there was a dress I really liked the look of BUT when I tried it on (and I tried it on in a 10, 8, and 4) it did not flatter me... the top lacy V neck was cute but there was this puff below the waist that kind of accentuated curves but it was puffy and not flattering so I went for my second choice that is still really cute... and if I need to or want to and if I find something else I can still return it... but I probably won't. My sister liked it and so did I and I can wear it again so nothing to complain about. For now, however, I should get back to work. I need to get a full draft of my dissertation, like one that I'd almost be happy calling the final product, to my committee by Wednesday... it's ALMOST there. Afterward, I still have reason to stress as I'll be editing and preparing my presentation and waiting for it all to be over... but after June 7, my defense, all I have to do is submit the final draft by the 14th, graduate the 16th, head to my sister's city on the 18th and help her out with whatever she needs until the 22nd when she gets married... I get back on the 23rd, will no doubt go to yoga that next Monday morning... and then I will be sort of stress free... except for figuring out what exactly I'll be doing next! But that will fall into place. I can have a summer of fitness and finding a job! Have a wonderful Wednesday, Sparkfriends! My apologies for the single paragraph blog.