Monday, April 29, 2013
Well this is the first blog post I have sat down to write for my sparkpage. I figured I'd give a small recap of what happened this year to make me want to officially join spark people and get this life of mine together.
So this was my first year of College. All I ever heard about was "the freshman fifteen the freshman fifteen everyone gains the freshman fifteen." It was like a chant in my head, berating me and worrying me the entire summer prior to College's start. The last thing I was going to do to myself was allow myself to gain that freshman fifteen.
Well, having 33 food allergies and a stomach disease, and Celiac to accompany everything else, it in fact was hardly difficult to avoid that freshman fifteen. And with oh so terrible habit I get myself into called over scheduling myself, the first semester of my freshman year was actually quite successful in maintaining my weight. In fact. I lost weight. To the point that everyone in my family started getting concerned. The stress of college and going in knowing nobody, getting too busy to eat, and only being able to eat certain few foods in the cafeteria anyway, I ended up finally losing that stubborn weight that I have been trying to lose for the last 6 years.
Don't get me wrong, that weight has disappeared before, but all by way of unhealthy means, whether sickness, lack of hunger, or minor anorexia. But as we all well know, the unhealthy means of losing weight? Never works. It just took me a few years to get that into my teenage head.
At this point in college however, I was not being unhealthy, eating less homemade meals and more natural stuff yes, and eating more frequently but in fewer amounts. I had lost weight unexpectedly and for the most part by a proper means. But I was not working out, and as the stress of college took it's toll and my health failed. Things started to go downhill.
Attempting to figure out all of the problems I was having for a woman's body, I was taking a series of medications, none of which were helping but in fact making me worse. The toll this took on my stress sent my health through a devastating loop, where I no longer was eating healthy, if eating at all.
It was not until second semester (I had gained back a couple pounds through Christmas break. For the record I never got out of my healthy weight range or even on the extreme low end of it. So I didn't need to gain these pounds. But once my body got into an unhealthy streak. It was hard to pull it out) that once we figured out my diagnosis and I had surgery and then recovery that I started gaining back the weight. Once again, that ever present chant returned to my thoughts, as pounds began to increase and I couldn't stop it no matter what I did. By this point my body was already back into it's unhealthy eating stages and cravings. In addition I never worked out. It has never been my forte and now it was coming back even more daunting of a task than before.
And here I am now, back at the top of that ever stubborn weight I have tried for so many years to lose. I am eating healthy. And I'm actually working out as well, in hopes that I can shed these 10-20 lbs as I have always dreamed. The first couple weeks were a success. As I had dropped 5 pounds in them and everything was working out. but I went home this weekend. And home is where the heart is, as well as all of the means to make whatever gluten free treat or sweet I want, and due to my lack of self control, end up eating all of it at once and gain three pounds back... Wish me luck on my endeavor. I have a few weeks yet to accomplish this goal. But as I sit here typing, my lack of motivation and fear of never succeeding makes its creeping journey back into my heart. I'm staying positive though. And always saying to myself what my sparkpage title tells me "Let's Do It."