Monday, April 29, 2013
The wedding went great! I was able to control my voice and keep it from cracking with emotion, and we got through the formalities all right. Here's part of the script I used, which talks about the difference between the days, weeks, and months before the wedding and the wedding itself.
A moment ago, I referred to this ceremony as a formalization of their vows, and that, really, is all it is. When I spoke with Sarah regarding her wedding ceremony, she emphasized that she wanted something short, so they could enjoy food, drink, dancing, family, and friends: the things that they really care about. Robert Fulgum, author of “All You Ever Needed to Know, You Learned in Kindergarten” and a Unitarian minister might agree, as he has this to say about the wedding ceremony: “You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of ‘yes,’ to this moment of ‘yes,’ indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, ‘You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant them all, every word.’”
So, I think Robert Fulgum would agree that the ceremony isn’t the main event; it’s just a prelude to the party and the remainder of Bryan and Sarah’s life together.