weekend review and jokes
Monday, April 29, 2013
Good Morning! How was your weekend?
My weekend have fun with mom and sis in amish even so I lost my wallet before we went and couldnít do everything I wanted to do because of it. But I ate fish not meat and boiled not fry so i think I did Good . The birthday party on sat. was the normal family function where I am confident I am dumbest stupidest noga around. I something wonders if it would be easier to be the n a dumb family instead of dumbest in a smart family. I donít need my family to point out that compare to them I accomplish nothing and never will, Also if one more person tell me I need to change my lifestyle eating or exercise way since it hurting mom I am going to need a good defense attorney lol. Mom heath no. Have never been better and she not the one complaining. Sunday I have a little pb cookie pig out but that stop soon after my coach text.
Plans for today??
Work and more work
What are your goals for the week??
This is going to be a hard week so I just want to survive it. But in saying that I always have the goal of at least 30 min cardio 7 day a week and six day your workout .also trying to eat 3 meal a day, oh and about 12 cup of water a day.
Tell me one thing that you need to focus more on?
Well really not letting me get in the way of not being healthy. I know my biggest problem is telling myself something bad is going to happen so it does., I am working on that. But other than that I am focusing on being prepare for my 5k walk on May 11. Also question I been using a 3 pounds weight since I join you wondering if I need to move up to 4 pounds.
Women's Compact Instruction Book
Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.
Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.
Don't imagine you can change a man-unless he's in diapers.
What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
So many men-so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.
If they put a man on the moon-they should be able to put them all there.
Tell him you're not his type-you have a pulse.
Never let your man's mind wander-it's too little to be let out alone.
The only reason men are on this planet is that vibrators can't dance or buy drinks.
Never sleep with a man who's named his penis.
Go for younger men. You might as well-they never mature anyway.
A man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest Gump is unquestionably gay.
Men are all the same-they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
Women don't make fools of men-most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions.
If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, 'oh all right, I'll stay the night."
Women sleep with men, who if they were women, they wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with.
Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.
If he asks you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing.
Sadly, all men are created equal.
When he asks you if he's your first tell him, "You may be, you look familiar."