I want to do the color vibe 5k in Raleigh. I asked the BF if he'd do it with me, then if he'd at least come watch me. He told me I shouldn't do it. That it is a waste of money and was stupid and childish.
Yeah, that hurts, a lot. He claims to know me so well, but really, when it comes to this kind of stuff he is clueless. "You should figure out why you hate yourself and stop this stupid diet and exercise stuff. You have flabby skin not fat, you'd have to have surgery to get rid of that, no amount of exercise is going to give you the body you want."
Yeah, he said that crap again too. First half of the first line isn't that bad, but it really goes down hill after that. I've lost from my heaviest ever, 50 pounds, not 500. I do not have belts of stretched out skin. I have fat. I have never been over 200, been closer than I'd like, but still. I do have old fat. It has been proven old fat is A LOT harder to lose.
Do I hate myself? A little. I can admit that and I do try and work on the mental crap, but it's VERY hard to change how I see myself. I AM doing the color run. Whether he supports me or not, well, that's up to him. I'd love for him to stop b1tching about his gut growing and maybe train with me to do it, but I can't make him.
He's insecure and I get that TRUST me, I get that. After bringing this race up he's been having nightmares about me sleeping with anything with a penis again. Really, you think that little of me? He complains about my lack of confidence, I'd love for him to get a little in our relationship.
I think I am fat and ugly and that he'll leave me in a heartbeat for someone better. Well, he tells me all the time I am not what he wants in a woman, so why wouldn't I be insecure about it. He does say that what you want is often not what you need. I on the other hand try to be supportive and be there, but I am not good at advice. He is a grown man and I will help him with anything and everything I can, but I am not good at being pro-active. Just bloody tell me or ask me. I am oblivious and often can't see things till you smack me in the face with them. Just REALLY annoyed with him right now.
Here are pictures of what little bit of costume stuff I've been working on...
95% done, need straps and backing...
Sunglasses...need more paint then detailing and gluing down.
Witch's crown...first sculpt cracked like drought ridden riverbed, so here is the second...
going to try and cast it in crystal resin then paint the back..