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Day 515- Stopping a Tailspin

Monday, April 29, 2013

Hello Everyone.

First off, thank you so much for the overwhelming support of my engagement/half marathon blog. I never ceased to be amazed by the loving, supportive community that is SparkPeople.

Secondly, if you've been watching my weight ticker, I want to apologize. To you, and to myself.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that in times of stress I reverted to a few old habits and am now 15 pounds up from my lowest weight since joining SparkPeople. I'm sorry that I keep making excuses to start "after graduation" or "after I finish my paper" or "after I find a job." I've written many "Back on the Wagon" blogs, but I never truly jumped back on.

I would track my breakfast and then go out to eat for lunch and eat whatever JD was eating for dinner. This is not how I lost 91 pounds. I lost 91 pounds by tracking everything, drinking tons of water, and exercising 5x a week. I lost 91 pounds by passing up the McDonalds drive through, saying no to that pizza in class, and walking to class rather than driving.

And in the past few months, I just haven't had the motivation to do this. Well, I finally completed my 45 page seminar paper required for graduation. My advisor has to read it and give me final edits, but it's done. I graduate on Friday, and will start spending every day looking for a job.

Not to mention, I have a wedding to plan. And I want to be the happiest, healthiest bride I can be, even if it is 19 months away.

So I'm stopping this tailspin, TODAY. I'm 197.6 lbs today. And I REFUSE to get back into the 200s. It's time to refocus, and realize that regardless of what else is going on in my life, my health is the most important thing I can focus on.

Thank you for never giving up on me, SparkFriends. While I try and hold myself accountable, it truly is all of you, supporting me and reminding me that I can do this, that keep me going.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    719 days ago
    Recognizing that you were in a tailspin is the first step to turning things around. Keep being real!

    1569 days ago
    Awww... Sweetie! Relapses are normal, they are human. Every relapse teaches us something. Think of it as another lesson along a wonderfully long and winding road of your life! This healthy journey is a long one. You cannot rush things. Moving too fast has it's consequences. But getting back on track is how we learn. You can do it! We all have faith in you!

    All those "other" things that have gotten in your way will always be there. Label them as they are... part of a fulfilling life... don't make them excuses.

    Now step up and flex those healthy muscles you know you have! Much love to you both!
    1590 days ago
    good for you!
    1600 days ago
    Starting over is so hard...I know, I know , I know...I have done it way too many times...I am back to drinking tons of water & exercising (walking & biking) but I still need to track my food & get really serious in that dept. The job hunt is a stressful place to be & I wish that I had a magic wand. Just think back to all the things that you used to worry about...most of them are behind they say... "this too shall pass." Pretty soon, you will have a job, get married & then you will have other worries &/or concerns...Take care, Baby Girl...come home this weekend & we will Kick Start each other...Love you madly...

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    1605 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/1/2013 1:29:52 PM
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    1606 days ago
    I'm sooo happy for you!!!!!
    Congratulations! Amazing proposal! You deserve all the happiness in the world because you are a great and loving couple!
    1606 days ago
    You can do it. I have faith in you.
    1606 days ago
    I'm so glad you are done with the paper and now have less pressure on you.
    Backsliding to "comforting" old habits is a natural reaction in hard times, many of us do it. I have been doing it in the past few weeks too.
    The important thing is to realize it and finding the way back to a healthy, sustainable lifestyle that makes us happy.
    Positive changes add up and can start an upright spiral!

    I took a few days off, added distance to my runs and added several long walks. Just a few days but I already feel stronger and happier, and feel less or no urge to overeat at dinner.

    1606 days ago
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    1607 days ago
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    1607 days ago
    And you can do it!
    1607 days ago
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    1607 days ago
    It's hard to change long standing habits, and the change doesn't happen all at once.

    I have a weakness for free pizza. In January 2012, I ate a lot of it during tax training, and gained some pounds that I didn't take off till there was no more free pizza. Free pizza showed up late in tax season this year. I manage to be more moderate, but could still see a small impact on my weight.

    Yesterday I ran a 5K while my daughter walked it. After she finished, I showed her where the free food was, and remarked, "I need to ignore the free pizza." And I did. It wasn't even hard to take a banana, half a bagel, and a cup of Greek yogurt.

    There's no guarantee I won't fall victim to free pizza again in the future, but I didn't yesterday. And I don't *have* to fall victim to those impulses. Neither do you.
    1607 days ago
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  • GABY1948
    Don't be too hard on yourself. You can and you WILL do it! Your big stress is over now! Can't wait to see your "I DID it!" blog! emoticon
    1607 days ago
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  • AEROGIRL1594
    You can do this girl, I know it's hard at times, but you've got this! Good luck girl!
    1607 days ago
    great job for trying again rather doing it all the best for the wedding preparations hugs
    1607 days ago
    Good for you, I admire you for all the things you're trying to do all at once. 19 months isn't really that far away. Happy wedding planning. emoticon emoticon
    1607 days ago
  • 1966SUNSHINE
    I applaud your honesty and I am 100% in support of you and your journey! You CAN do it and I know you'll succeed! You do have a great support system here at SparkPeople and being honest with yourself if the most important thing. emoticon
    1607 days ago
    emoticon You have the strength to overcome any obstacle that is presented to you. You have earned all of your success and you can keep going!!
    1607 days ago
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  • KIMPY225
    Life is tough - we all have goals and we all have our own ways of approaching and completing them. Keep up the great work - you are still here which is great! If you are having trouble, maybe you can try with small goals and keep adding on from there!
    1607 days ago
    You can do it, I know you can, you've done it before and you know how! I'm in the same boat as you are, and it truly stinks, but we'll get ourselves together and do what it takes to do it again and then all the more and then we'll be all the more healthier! It will really make a difference too with the nicer weather coming on! yeah!! emoticon
    1607 days ago
    You are definitely capable of getting back on track!! You are an inspiration to me, and I know that you will be successful!! Congrats on graduating!!!
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    1607 days ago
    emoticon together. I to have been tail spinning and I am picking myself up and dusting it off. Moving forward. I don't want to see 200's again either and I am not to far from it now. Thanks for sharing and being my motivator. You have come along way and you can do this. You are strong!!

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    1607 days ago
    Don't sweat it! Life has a way of working out. Just go back to the basics that allowed you to get their in the first place and you'll get there again. Honestly, the journey usually turns out to have been the fun part.
    1607 days ago
  • KCLARK89
    Girl you can do this!!! It is so easy to fall back into those old habits and the way you used to do things because you 100% know HOW to do that. When I went back to PA for Thanksgiving and Christmas, I KNEW how to go out all of the time to eat or have a few drinks with friends. Yes, I also knew what it took to be healthy and maintain my weight, but coupled with other factors, the bad habits liked to edge their way in.

    Best of luck as you start your job search!! Definitely know how that goes (I graduated in 2011) and I'm back to looking once again. Take this opportunity to start a new routine maybe; since you won't have school to focus on, you can overhaul your daily routine while job searching!

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    1607 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.