Monday, April 29, 2013
I am tired tonight, but its a good tired. My son brought my 3 granddaughters down for the afternoon, while he went out for some alone time. He works from home, and my DIL has been battling some recent health problems, so the girls and the house have all been on his shoulders. He did ask first, and I said OK!!
These granddaughters are the reason I decided to change my life. It was 4 years ago, on the oldest one's first birthday I realized I couldn't get down on the floor to play with her, and that with the history of heart disease in my family, I probably wouldn't live long enough to see her grow up.
So I made changes, and have lost almost 80 pounds over the last 4 years. I still have more to go, and get disappointed with myself when I look in the mirror and see fat hanging off my body. I feel like giving in to the cravings, and whine to myself that I'm being deprived.
But I read so many of your stories here on SP, stories that inspire me to keep going one day at a time. And today I had a day I can be satisfied with.
I tracked my food, and although the result was higher than my calorie goal, I am accepting it as reality instead of lying and cheating to myself. I am maintaining my interior integrity. And I got down and played legos, and played games, and had a good time with the girls!
Now they have gone home with their dad, and I am happily going to bed. I'm looking forward to another day tomorrow to open my heart and look for that door that leads to peace with food.