Sunday, April 28, 2013
Since I've been sparking I've had so many new and interesting experiences: fitting into the rides at an amusement park, rediscovering the joys of being able to cross my legs gracefully, being able to walk briskly up and down stairs at a stadium, going to a rock concert and being bold enough to push my way to the front, squatting down to pet the dog and then realizing - oh, I'm squatting...and it's comfortable.
Having lost almost 95 pounds now I am daily experiencing some new thing in my new body - I can run, I can dance, I can walk into a room and be one of the skinnier people there...
But yesterday really took the cake (ooops - sorry about the cake reference...)
You see yesterday I went shopping with the devil. And by devil, I mean my 13 year old daughter. No she is not mean and nasty with horns coming out of her head... (okay - well maybe sometimes...she is 13..)
But she is a seductress when it comes to shopping - all sweetness and smiles. At the shoe store she started in on me.....
Mom, how come you never splurge on yourself (ummm - cause all my money gets sucked up by you???)
Mom, how come you don't have any pretty shoes (ummm - cause I'm a mom??) Mom - you should try these on (holding out a pair of impossibly high heels.)
I'd like to be able to tell you that I was strong and kept in mind that I have bills to pay this week. I'd like to be able to tell you that I smiled and passed.
But I took the bait - I took the heels - I put them on.
Now in the past the only Disney character I ever felt a kinship with was Dumbo with his lumbering clumsiness... But as soon as I buckled the 6 inch stiletto strappy black sandals on I felt - dare I say - just a bit more princess like...
Daughter asks, Mom why don't you have heels? And I truthfully answered that I have weighed so much in the past that I would have snapped the heel - and certainly my balance was not good enough to keep myself aloft on heels - plus they simply killed the balls of my feet. 267 pounds balanced on the balls of your feet. Ouch.
But at 161 - it really didn't hurt....I stared in the mirror. I wavered. I wondered.
Am I at almost 48 a little too old for heels???
But they sparkled...and I looked taller...and more elegant somehow. Is it too late, I wondered? Will I just look silly? One more look in the mirror and then at my daughter's face....
Tissue flew everywhere - I tried on about 20 pairs of shoes..
And yep - took home the stiletto sandals and a "practical" pair of strappy , wedge heeled black sandals....
Which explains why tonight I am learning how to walk all over again- in heels for the first time in 20 years... Send me good wishes and prayers for the protection of my ankles... maybe it's not too late.