Sunday, April 28, 2013
I want Kim Jong-un to test a missile because it’s always a spectacular disaster. He’s the only Asian in the world that doesn’t test well. -Bill Maher
These people are mental. Congressman Joe Barton of Texas used Noah’s Ark as evidence that global warming doesn’t exist. He said, ‘If you’re a believer in the Bible, one would have to say the Great Flood is an example of climate change and that certainly wasn’t because mankind had overdeveloped hydrocarbon energy.’ Can we forget Noah? This guy needs to start collecting two of every chromosome.
Things are still very tense in North Korea. In fact, world leaders are still waiting to see if Kim Jong-un is going to actually fire a missile after this week’s deadline came and went. Apparently what happened was he messed up and bought Mentos and regular Coke. -Jimmy Fallon
Because of budget cuts, the Navy may have to cancel Fleet Week, where thousands of sailors dock in New York City. Of course if you want to see a bunch of people glad to be off a boat, you could just wait for a Carnival cruise to come in. -Jimmy Fallon