Sunday, April 28, 2013
This song really expresses how I felt today:
Today was one of my down days.... It was raining outside the whole day and I felt like it was raining inside too. I had insomnia and nightmares last night and it was one of those days where I just wanted to crawl back in bed and not get up again, but I had to get up at 5:30 to take my husband to the airport in the pouring rain. I made an effort to get through the rest of the day, but nothing seemed to go right. I never did get around to exercising and all I wanted to eat today were carbs...I guess that is nature's antidepressant (eating carbs). I'm going to make myself walk around inside or dance for a bit even though I really do NOT want to. Then maybe a hot bath and going to bed early will help me sleep better tonight. It was one of those days where I just wanted to talk to my mom and put my head on her shoulder and have her tell me, "everything is going to be okay, things will look better in the morning."
Grief is hard...it's hard to be stuck in a depressive mood and think that things will be better. I can try to just put on my best Scarlett O'Hara persona and say " I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow. After all... tomorrow is another day. "
But sometimes we just can't pull ourselves out of the pit by ourselves. Sometimes we have to reach up and let God heal our hearts. Sometimes we just have to have faith that tomorrow will be better.
"God sees my heart
The deepest part
Inside this lonely me
And reachin' in
His love begins
To heal the heart in me
Sometimes we're raining on the inside
And our hearts well up with tears that start to pour
But when we're raining on the inside
Let His cries of love break through
Know that He loves you, once more...."
Resting on faith....Tomorrow will be a better day!