Sunday, April 28, 2013
I won't lie, I am an all-or-nothing sort of girl. I think: If I can't do everything perfectly than there is no point. That is going to be difficult to train out of me. I've also discovered that since I'm older, my body no longer wants starches. Big problem.
It isn't because I am addicted to bread or pastas or whatever, well...maybe a smidge, but the thing is we basically live off of those things. I currently live in Tasmania, in a very, very remote town in the mountains that is 3 hours away from any real, decent stores. You know what our meals basically consist of every week? Sausages...because they are sometimes as low as 3 dollars a kilo. Pasta...because it's 85 cents for the ultra cheapo crap. Rice...3 dollars buys enough for about 5 days. Potatoes...6 dollars buys a 10 kilo bag. The produce in the tiny little IGAs is crap. I mean total, disgusting (sometimes inedible) crap. It's either try to find *something* we can use or we don't buy anything. Fruit...hardley anything unless you can afford to pay out the nose. Breakfast is a huge box of cornflakes that lasts about 2 weeks. Lunches sometimes generally have to be a can of baked beans and toast. It's cheap, that's why we do it. But yet... we still spend 600 a month on food. And it's all crap! We'd be spending even more than that if we bought the good, healthier stuff.
Sometimes I regret moving overseas... I could do so much better with this where I was, I really could. Living costs are almost triple here in some respects, and I am almost at my breaking point trying to get *anything* to work for me. My old way of losing wieght (that I tried 5 years ago and lost 50 pounds in 5 months) no longer really seems to work. At all.
We also live with my husband's dad (no choice right now) and he doesn't even own a microwave...he's scared of the damn things! So I have an electric stove top to cook on and that's it. No way to do scrambled eggs in the morning without using butter or oil to cook them in. Nope, the man owns no non-stick cookware, and we can't afford to go buy any. No car here, so we'd be putting up 130 dollars EACH for a round trip to the closest town and back. Not for a skillet. No way. 260... that's more than a quarter of our monthly unemployment check.
It seems like there are too many obstacles in the way here. I don't know what to do. For an all or nothing sort of girl it feels like there is always nothing I can do.