Sunday, April 28, 2013
I've lost over 20 pounds at this point. 22.4 pounds, to be exact. But sometimes it doesn't feel like anything has actually changed. It feels like I still have so far to go, and the fact that I'm still technically obese (not overweight, but actually obese) doesn't help. But whenever I start feeling like that, I take a minute to recount all the changes I have actually made in my life:
- I started a completely different diet (my food rehab), and have stuck with it for almost 5 weeks now. I have no real desire to go off plan, and even when I have terrible cravings, I accept that while I really want (insert junk food here), I'm not going to get it, and I don't need it. Now my cravings usually only last about half an hour to an hour, and I can manage them way better than I used to.
-My husband and I have made a commitment to following the couch to 5k training program, and I have already done more jogging in the past week than I've done since the last gym class I took (freshman year of high school almost 13 years ago). Even though I have to push myself through each and every jogging interval, I do the most that I can, and I don't want to give up.
-The pants I bought in the middle of February are now too big on me. I not only had to buy a belt (I've always been going in the other direction, so I've never actually needed one before), but since I bought it I've gone down three notches. I haven't gone to buy new pants yet, but I'm sure that I'll be at least a size down, maybe two by the time I do go shopping.
-When I look in the mirror, I usually feel like I can really see my waist now. Even though no one else has said anything yet, I feel like it's just a matter of time before they are forced to notice the changes I'm making. (Sometimes I even imagine that they've already noticed but are too embarrassed/jealous to say anything).
When I remind myself of all these changes and everything I have done, it starts to feel real. Now at 211.6, I'm so close to being under 210, and it feels like I'm just a stone's throw away from Onderland. I've come further than I ever have before, and my long term goal, while it's still a ways off, it doesn't feel like an impossible dream anymore. It feels like an eventuality that I know I can reach. All I have to do is keep moving forward.