Making it feel real
Sunday, April 28, 2013
I've lost over 20 pounds at this point. 22.4 pounds, to be exact. But sometimes it doesn't feel like anything has actually changed. It feels like I still have so far to go, and the fact that I'm still technically obese (not overweight, but actually obese) doesn't help. But whenever I start feeling like that, I take a minute to recount all the changes I have actually made in my life:
- I started a completely different diet (my food rehab), and have stuck with it for almost 5 weeks now. I have no real desire to go off plan, and even when I have terrible cravings, I accept that while I really want (insert junk food here), I'm not going to get it, and I don't need it. Now my cravings usually only last about half an hour to an hour, and I can manage them way better than I used to.
-My husband and I have made a commitment to following the couch to 5k training program, and I have already done more jogging in the past week than I've done since the last gym class I took (freshman year of high school almost 13 years ago). Even though I have to push myself through each and every jogging interval, I do the most that I can, and I don't want to give up.
-The pants I bought in the middle of February are now too big on me. I not only had to buy a belt (I've always been going in the other direction, so I've never actually needed one before), but since I bought it I've gone down three notches. I haven't gone to buy new pants yet, but I'm sure that I'll be at least a size down, maybe two by the time I do go shopping.
-When I look in the mirror, I usually feel like I can really see my waist now. Even though no one else has said anything yet, I feel like it's just a matter of time before they are forced to notice the changes I'm making. (Sometimes I even imagine that they've already noticed but are too embarrassed/jealous to say anything).
When I remind myself of all these changes and everything I have done, it starts to feel real. Now at 211.6, I'm so close to being under 210, and it feels like I'm just a stone's throw away from Onderland. I've come further than I ever have before, and my long term goal, while it's still a ways off, it doesn't feel like an impossible dream anymore. It feels like an eventuality that I know I can reach. All I have to do is keep moving forward.