Sunday, April 28, 2013
It was a week of ups and downs for me, but aren't they all? I spent a lot of time being mindful and grateful of every small thing. Perspective is important. Mindfully being grateful keeps the stress of what I CAN'T control at bay.
A few highlights of the past week : My DD and I were in the shopping center wandering around and she reached out to hold my hand. That isn't anything new, she's very affectionate, but as she gets older sometimes she stops to think now wondering I suppose if she isn't too old to be holding her mom's hand. I was grateful for the quiet moment with my daughter, enjoying our bond and the times we get to spend together. I know that all too soon she will be grown and gone.
While at she shopping center I found the perfect storage table. I had a gift certificate for the store and was excited to find something I really had use for. On sale!! I bought the table and of course it's in this huge box. DD was walking out of the store ahead of me to make sure I didn't leave a trail of destruction. The box probably weighed only about 45 or 50 pounds, so carrying wasn't the issue, just the fact that it was a huge box and I'm vertically challenged so not able to see where I was going. Anyway, this young man walked up to me and offered to take it to my car. My first impulse was to say no thank you, I had it. Then I smiled and gratefully handed the box over. Learning to accept the small acts of kindness from others can sometimes be as important as committing those acts yourself. The accepting kindness and help is the thing I have the problem with. Funny how accepting his help made ME feel good. Interesting. Small things, but it's perspective that matters. We can make the most of the small good things that happen to us and that we have, or we can choose to think only of those small, stressful or painful moments. The choice of where our focus lies is up to us.
I was grateful this week for mostly busy days at work. I was grateful for the chance to sit down with DD and make plans for a vacation at the end of summer. Something we can both look forward to.
Not long ago, maybe two weeks, I decided to take back my peace. I decided to put an end to the guilt over what I didn't get done around the house or what I "should" be doing, or "should" have done. I also have a big problem with relaxing. I might not be getting anything accomplished, but I can't relax either. I'm taking it one day at a time getting my house back in order and getting organized. I decided that Sunday being my day off, was no longer a day to fret about what needed to be done or a day to worry about getting anything clean. Today is a day to relax. Free myself of the guilt, just BE. I've spent today on my back porch. I had a long chat with a dear friend earlier, I knitted, now I'm getting caught up on some Sparking. Music playing on my Ipod, just enjoying the day. Peace is good. Letting go of the guilt that can control you is good. You all know the kind of guilt I'm talking about -- the "I should do a load of laundry before I read that book" the "I can relax in a little while, I should mop the kitchen floor first though" the little voice in your head that won't shut up that keeps reminding you of what you DIDN'T accomplish. Tell that voice to be quiet and then listen to the voice that tells you what you DID accomplish, whatever that may be. I worked every day, I exercised to take care of myself, I cleaned off the "hotspots" in my house where clutter seems to accumulate and managed to keep them free and clear all week. My kitchen and bathrooms have been neat and clean all week. By doing a little home "maintenance" all week I had time to enjoy my time in the evenings. By declaring today a "no work" day I've been able to enjoy spending quiet time with myself.
Quiet is good. Peace is better.