Saturday, April 27, 2013
Why is it said that fat people are jolly? I certainly did not feel that way when I was -let's face it--just plain overweight and miserable. Yet I still wanted to be social like my friends and co-workers and dutifully went to the picnics, parties and dance clubs all made up and looking like a happy chubby cheeked participant. Everyone else was having a good time, but the only time I truly had a good time was when I was with my kids and my BFF because I knew that she was the one person besides my kids that didn't judge me or make me feel uncomfortable because I was fat. I genuinely laughed and smiled with them but put on the 'happy face' with others because I was so uncomfortable with myself.
Over my journey back to health I didn't smile too much in pictures because I was still learning to be comfortable in my own skin. And even now I often have a serious face because of those years of being uncomfortable-it's a hard thing to shake but hopefully one day I will be completely comfortable with smiling. I am learning that smiling doesn't mean that I am trying to fit in with the crowd but that I am comfortable within my own skin. And that's as valuable as the weight loss.