Looking for God
Saturday, April 27, 2013
I have an old friend that I had lost touch with. I found out 3 years after the fact that he and his wife had divorced. He told me that he questioned his faith in God-but found that he was able to rediscover God and reaffirm that God was real and still with him. He had this new discovery as he went for walks in nature. I was encouraged by him to do the same...though I haven't lost faith in God, I'm certainly not where I was 10 years ago in a spiritual sense.
I went for a walk today. It was my first free time on a beautiful spring day. After 3 separate winter storms this spring I was more than ready to enjoy the sun. I walked 4 miles and felt so much more able to do that than I was last summer-no running out of breath, no needing to take breaks and no counting the blocks until I make it home. It was enjoyable and a tangible evidence of the health benefits I have gained from working out this winter. I prayed as I set out asking God to show himself to me throughout my walk. I didn't know what to expect...but felt sure that I ought to have an expectation :)
At a point in my walk I stopped into a catholic store. I'm not catholic, but my husband is and I believe the catholics and I have more in common than what separates us. I wandered around and found they had a prayer room available to the public. I went in there and had an honest talk with my maker. They had a kneeling bench-but I sat in the comfy chair in the corner. I prayed about my marriage, my daughter's school, my expectations and hopes...thanking God for what he has given me. I left the room more peaceful.
After that I went to a gift shop and saw the exact same necklace a friend had given me when I was needing to leave an abusive relationship years ago. It was a wing on a chain-a reminder to fly away to safety-which I did.
On my walk home I thought about my experience. The Bible says to "wait for, hope for and expect the Lord." I heard a preacher on TV this morning talking about expecting financial blessing from God when you give-it smelled of greed-the way he spoke. I expect God to come close when I look for him and I do expect that he is able to meet my needs. May I never have an interest in God for the primary goal of meeting my monetary needs though. :) I will wait for, hope for and expect for him to make an appearance in my life in unexpected ways. To me-that is worth more than money.